Many women often enter into relationships with men who make them suffer. The so-called alpha males or male scoundrels, an alliance with which in most cases is doomed. Why is this happening and how to get out of the vicious circle? Famous TV presenter, writer, author and host of popular psychological trainings and webinars, professor of psychology Pavel Rakov told Liza.ua why this is happening.
Reasons why we get into relationships with alpha males
1. Unconscious biological factor
A woman often chooses a partner for herself on an unconscious level and attracts her life to a biological alpha male. She wants to meet the strongest, most successful and most confident, in a word, courageous male. And the fact is that the genes of the so-called scoundrel are the closest to survival and a woman, on an unconscious level, decides to give herself to the strongest man. In other words, she decides to give herself to the alpha male in order to give birth to healthy offspring from him. After all, the children of such a man will be given the character traits of their father, which will help them “survive” and get on their feet in this world. Therefore, one of the reasons for this choice is a biological unconscious factor.
2. Substitution of concepts
If a man demonstrates his strengths to a woman, she involuntarily begins to respect him. Moreover, she often perceives male rudeness and, to some extent, rudeness as a manifestation of strength. That is, there is a substitution of concepts, a woman confuses male strength with character traits that, in general, have nothing to do with masculinity, male dignity and honor. This is because many women have not been taught how to choose men well.
3. I am the queen!
A woman may not take the initiative and even be afraid of this man, do not look in the direction of the alpha male until he himself takes the initiative and starts courting. And in this case, everything depends on male perseverance. As a result, the lady gives up, she is even flattered that such an alpha male paid attention to her and biochemical processes come into force. Hormones are connected, self-esteem rises and a woman feels like a queen.
4. Nevalachsky principle
The further we push people away from us, the closer we attract them. This expression is the essence of the principle of “roly-poly”. Some women like men who keep their distance in relationships, if not ignore them altogether. Daring behavior arouses interest and vice versa – a man who is ready to get us a star from the sky causes a backlash. Such behavior is repulsive and the woman immediately loses interest.
How to stop building relationships with scoundrels?
Women understand that a relationship with an alpha male will sooner or later lead to a break, and a rather painful one at that. What to do and how not to fall into the “bait” of a scoundrel?
1. Understand the reasons and agree with them
If you agree with the above reasons and agree that the vicious circle needs to be broken, consider that half of the problem has already been solved.
2. Learn to evaluate men by their real rating
Evaluate men not by their robbery antics and impudent manners, but by a real rating, or rather, by three points.
- Genes. Find out in which family the man was brought up, who his parents were. After all, the higher the status of his parents and the stronger their health, the more likely it is that your chosen one has good genes and strong offspring will be born.
- Real achievements. It is very important to adequately assess what a man has achieved by a certain age, what status he has. Find out in what conditions he lives, by whom and where he works, what kind of education he has.
- Spirituality and humanity. A man should be able to empathize, understand the feelings of another person (and his beloved in the first place), show empathy. These are very important qualities that should play an almost decisive role for a woman when choosing a man.
3. Look at the actions
Do not listen to what he says, even if his words inspire confidence. Look at what he does. Evaluate actions and deeds and you definitely will not be mistaken.
Author: Pavel Rakov, author sensational bestsellers “Actually, I’m smart, but I live like a fool” ?, and “A fool wants to meet two higher ones.”