In order to achieve harmony in a couple, it often takes a lot of effort. But sometimes people go to extremes and confuse the concepts of “codependent” and “codependent” relationships.

Today we will figure out what the difference is, and why it is so important not to merge into one with a partner.

Get to know the concepts

Interdependent relationships – this is the case when you are comfortable with your chosen one, you are very close, but at the same time, you do not capture each other 24 hours a day. Each of you lives your own life, organically fitting your soulmate into it.

A co-dependent relationship is literally the impossibility of coexisting without each other, when there is nothing else in your life other than a partner that causes pleasant emotions. This is bad at least because this person can disappear from your life, and then it will lose its meaning. In addition, often codependence flows into toxic forms in which partners are able to harm each other. Due to self-doubt, jealousy arises, which in some cases can develop into cruel forms.

How to build healthy interdependent relationships?

In order to feel as free as possible and stay in a trusting relationship, you need to set boundaries from the very beginning and inform your partner about your preferences, lifestyle, habits, friends, character traits and plans. In each of the points you must come to a common denominator. Otherwise, be prepared for numerous quarrels and insults. The ability to find a compromise is the foundation of a long-term relationship.

Another important rule when striving for harmony in a couple is trust. Both of you should be very familiar with each other’s social circle. Firstly, it strengthens the positions of partners in front of each other (they won’t introduce anyone to their loved ones just like that, this is a clear symbol of serious intentions), and secondly, it stops any mistrust and unrest if one of the couple suddenly decides to spend the evening not in companies with others, preferring friends.

Respect for choice is what distinguishes interdependent couples from codependents. They do not behave selfishly in situations where the “soulmate” obviously needs to be given more freedom. In order to understand what type to classify yourself as, imagine: your young man was offered to go abroad to the match of his favorite sports team. To get on this is the limit of his dreams. The event takes place once every 12 years, and you have not been approved for a visa: what will you do? Yes, you may not believe it, but it turns out that sometimes staying at home is the best option. Breaking other people’s dreams for the sake of your fears of being alone for a few days is, at least, stupid.

Interdependent relationship = free?

Giving freedom of choice and the right to privacy to a partner other than you is not about an open relationship. An open relationship has a romantic connotation, even if the couple agreed not to cheat on each other physically. Interdependence is a classic relationship in the general sense that allows two people to be a couple and at the same time important social elements.

Of course, such couples are not an example to follow. They quarrel, which is normal, and even break up, because everything happens in life. The main thing is to do what resonates with you, while not infringing on the rights of your couple and not misleading them. All difficulties are solved in communication, not manipulation, if we are talking about healthy human relationships.

Author: Yulia Baturina