Psychologists write articles about women’s happiness, poets compose poems, and men tell jokes… What makes us women happy, and what prevents us from enjoying life?
Psychologists say: we, women, are much more subject to other people’s influence than the representatives of the stronger sex. That is why we often put into practice other people’s ideas about happiness – what parents, girlfriends, fashionable social movements are trying to convince us of. How to get rid of the imposed and start living your life? First of all, realize what myths influence our decisions.
Myth 1. Would be cute next …
“There is no man – there is no happiness either,” – this, unfortunately, is the opinion of almost half of the women interviewed by psychologists.
Why “Unfortunately”? Because there is loneliness together, and painful, obsolete relationships, which are prevented by the fear of being alone and the condemnation of others, and the sudden departure of the “sweetheart” – and then life loses its meaning …
It is important to realize that happiness is possible both this way and this way… And in communication with friends, and in raising children, and in a career, and in creativity, and in travel, and in life as such! A woman who cannot be happy alone is unlikely to be happy with a man, as she will quickly become psychologically dependent on him.
Myth 2. Fight for the stamp and don’t give up!
Marriage should be official – and that’s the point, civil marriage humiliates a woman!
The status of an official wife gives a woman a solid basis for creating a family, and stability is women’s happiness. As a rule, women who are insecure in themselves adhere to such beliefs: it is important for them to consolidate their “manhood” in an administrative manner.
If you only dream of a white dress and a wedding ring, think about it – what new will an official marriage bring to your relationship? By itself, a passport stamp does not automatically guarantee happiness, and relationships with a partner can become even worse.
Myth 3. Money is the key to happiness
As a rule, such a myth flourishes in families experiencing financial difficulties.
Growing up in an atmosphere of constant quarrels between parents over money matters, the girl comes to the conclusion that only material wealth can bring happiness. And she achieves it in one of two ways: either she is looking for a rich husband, or she chooses a money profession.
But, as the proverb says, “There is a price for any money”: the wives of oligarchs pay for wealth with personal freedom, and career races and unloved work exhaust and undermine health. Perhaps it’s worth a little bargaining with life: let there be less money, but a loved one is nearby and a job that does not take all your strength?
Myth 4. You don’t need a man to be happy.
After all, men are selfish males who, apart from sex, beer and football, do not need anything at all.
And happiness can be found in children (who hinted that “a child needs a dad?” I will raise it myself!), In work, in religion, in charity, finally. Most often, parental attitudes play a role here, the transmission of a negative scenario of a divorced mother or grandmother.
Of course, men are far from chocolate and living with them is not always easy. But in order to take and delete them from life like that … Are you sure that refusing something (or someone) will bring happiness?
Myth 5. Children are the main project of a woman
Perhaps raising at least three children is really your dream and you will find yourself in this.
But if thoughts about the joy of having many children are “inherited” from parents or are visited when viewing luxurious photos of a popular Instagram mom, do not rush to bring them to life. You may want to supplement your dream with something else – get additional education, do your favorite hobby, travel. Of course, while the children are small, all this will have to be postponed, but if you still do not realize what you want, then where is the happiness? Children can be the main project. But not the only one.
Myth 6. The house is a female “purpose”
The patriarchal myth is slowly losing ground, but even today there are ladies who believe that making dumplings with their own hands, washing windows every Saturday and ironing a woman’s shirt for her husband is “naturally laid down”.
And whoever does not experience happiness from such a sacrament is not a woman at all. Such an idea of u200bu200bfemale happiness developed in ancient times, when a man was a breadwinner and supported his family, and the entire household was on women’s shoulders.
Whether the woman was happy with housework from dawn to dusk, no one was interested – there was no other way out.
But, as they say, there are housewives, and there are wild ones. Fortunately, today there are much more opportunities for self-realization, and you can look for happiness to your liking, not limited to everyday life.
Myth 7. Sex is not the main thing
Perhaps your grandmother once inspired you: “The main thing is that a person be good, but a woman does not need all these nonsense!” And you believed…
And now you have a completely peaceful relationship with your husband, obedient children and excellent household appliances in the kitchen. What more could you want? But the husband began to “stay late at work” more often, and the rare moments of fulfilling “marital duty” do not please him or you … It is difficult to build a lasting union on sex alone, but it is also impossible to be happy, abandoning the “basic instinct”.
And the best advice on how to find happiness was given by the famous actress Sharon Stone:
“Listen to yourself, determine what is important for you, leave it in your life, and say goodbye to everything else without regret!”