Is your man not very attentive and caring and pulls the blanket over himself in a relationship? Let’s see how incorrigible he is.

Photo: Thinkstock/ fotobank.uaPhoto: Thinkstock/ fotobank.ua

Your husband doesn’t ask how you are at work, doesn’t remember the date you met, doesn’t notice your new hairstyle… Yes, he only thinks about himself! He also scatters things and never does the dishes after him, as if you are a housekeeper who is obliged to clean up after him. Egoist!

Stop! Do not confuse concepts. Sloppiness, forgetfulness, inattention to trifles – all this does not mean boundless selfishness. Do not accuse a man of selfishness if he cares about you and shows compassion for people. If all his feelings and thoughts are directed only at himself, this is a different story.

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The so-called healthy egoism is inherent in all of us. If you do not suffer from low self-esteem and the syndrome of the victim, then you will find its signs in yourself. But studies show that selfish people are more common among the stronger sex.

A man who is prone to selfishness in the average form may appear to be a good-natured merry fellow. But his distinctive feature is emphasized narcissism. Whatever he does (brings food, hammers in a nail), he expects admiration and recognition of his merits. Of course, you are offended by his attitude: he takes any trouble around his own person for granted and, it seems, is not grateful to his wife. His ill health is always more serious than your indisposition, and any of his nonsense activities is more important than family affairs.

Re-educating a life partner is difficult, but possible. And it’s worth starting … with yourself! Often, male egoism is cultivated by women, shouldering all the affairs and worries. You need to learn the main rule: you can not give up your own interests and principles! Your husband is an adult and independent person, and you can easily share household duties, and solve problems together.

Learn to talk about what doesn’t suit you. But at the same time, avoid accusations and pretentious tone.

And do not try to intimidate him by leaving: confident in his irresistibility, he believes that he will not be left alone. Get your way with praise! Approve his actions more often, especially in the presence of friends and relatives. And the man will try to do as much as possible for you!

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You can find an approach to a weakly expressed egoist. If you fell in love with a man who does not think about anyone but himself, then everything is more difficult. His selfishness is pronounced: he does not tolerate criticism, gets irritated when he hears any request, violently imposes his opinion on everyone and makes unreasonable claims. In marriage, the main thing for him is comfort, stability and the ability to solve his own problems at the expense of a partner.

What should you do? Either accept, or leave him, or fight for your love. If next to him he sees a confident, independent, admirable woman, he will not want to lose her!

Text: Valeria Kopteva