The years spent together, fire, water and copper pipes became too strong a test … Somewhere the marriage cracked.
If you have firmly decided that you want to leave your spouse, cool down and do nothing on impulse. It is easy to screw up so that later you will remember this parting with shame all your life.
Get yourself a new life.
First of all, sit down and think about where you will go after breaking off relations with your husband. Will you have money to provide for yourself? Yourself and the child, if you have one? What school or kindergarten will he go to? Where will you live in the end?
Googled the cost of renting apartments. Estimate whether your salary is enough to provide for yourself. If not, be patient a little longer, live with your husband, but strengthen your own financial rear.
Prepare for the counterattack
Still, you are not strangers, and it is unlikely that your husband will gladly agree to just take it and disperse. Think carefully about the arguments for and against. Get ready, as you can repel his attempts to return everything to normal.
He may start yelling at you, get angry, or, conversely, beg you to think, “try first”, fill up with gifts, surround with affection. It’s hard to refuse this. It will hurt: after all, you once loved this person with all your heart, and what is happening was your cherished dream for many years, until it was too late. You also need to be prepared for this turn of events.
Don’t give in to temptations
Your memory still keeps love and awe, the spark that ran between you at the very beginning. So with a sudden caress or romance, he can shake your confidence. So, you will continue to doubt whether you live with him – or leave. The problems that led to the decision to leave, remained.
Therefore, choose a neutral place in order to start a conversation about a divorce. Do not go to your favorite restaurant, do not raise an important conversation in your own apartment.
Don’t get personal and don’t blame
Relationships always involve two people. Therefore, your fault in the complete collapse of your marriage is no less than his. You shared with this person your thoughts, feelings, dreams, home, bed …
So why now humiliate a person, accuse him of all mortal sins?
No “stay friends”
If you want your life to be better after a divorce, you need to make sure that this person no longer affects your life, your emotions, your state of mind. And “to remain friends” means to be in the position of a dog in the manger on several points at once.
Both of you will feel each other’s presence in life. There will always be torments “But can’t we get together?”. Both of you will be terribly jealous of each other, although you no longer have the right to do so.
Get it right on your nose: he will remember you the way you will be at the moment when he will experience the strongest emotions. Like when you said it was time for you to break up.
Shock, disbelief, denial – a whole storm of negative experiences will fall upon him. The brain will try to fix every detail of what is happening (such is the mechanism of memory – emotions contribute to memorization). Do you want to forever be imprinted in the memory of a person who meant so much to you, with a red, twisted face and a voice that gives a rooster?