Each of us, being in a relationship, thought about their long-term. At some point, it may seem that everything is lost: there are no more old feelings, romance has evaporated, and the “ideal” partner has been replaced. What’s the matter – tell “Lisa”.
The first phase of any relationship is the well-known “candy-bouquet” period. During it, lovers idealize each other’s qualities, finding only positive. Scientists explain this by human biology: in order for the union to form and have offspring, the brain produces hormones of happiness. Over time, their strength fades and the positive becomes less and less. At these moments, the couple is experiencing the first crises. If this is your case, answer a few questions for yourself:
- What do I like and dislike about this person?
- What am I ready to put up with, and what do I categorically disagree with?
- Do I see myself with this person in the future?
- Are our views on life the same?
Based on the answers, you can choose whether you need such a relationship. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s better to part peacefully than to deceive yourself and your “soulmate” for years.
If your relationship has gone through the courtship phase, and the feelings don’t seem as strong as they used to, it’s worth determining the level of hopelessness of the situation. Below is a list of obvious markers that a relationship has a chance to develop further:
- You both continue to show concern for each other;
- Your plans relate to a partner and are impossible without him;
- You are not burdened by communication with your loved one;
- In a relationship there are compliments and support;
- Both of you are well acquainted with the partner’s social circle, to whom he himself introduced you (an indicator of the seriousness of intentions);
- The thought of someone disappearing from your life scares you;
- No matter what, you do not insult each other and do not mentally / physically hurt each other;
- You do not have dependence on a partner (economic / mental, etc.)
- You feel development, not degradation in these relationships
What if the relationship has no future?
Unfortunately, this happens. Some people outgrow their partners, change internally and abandon past priorities. This is normal because we are all human. The main thing is to be able to directly express your feelings to the second partner. Perhaps a little pause in the relationship will help you make the right decision and choose the best way out of the situation.
One of the worst situations is when two adults realize the collapse of the relationship, but continue to glue the “broken vase”. Most often, this happens because of the child. As a rule, children grow up in an atmosphere of constant swearing and coldness from mother to father, from which they receive an incorrect construction of a model of family relationships in their minds. In adulthood, it will be extremely difficult for them to show love and care for a partner, because they have not seen such behavior of a man towards a woman before in their own family.
Is it possible to remain friends after a breakup?
Of course, in our lives there is an endless mass of variations of what can happen in the end. Breaking up “on a good note” is an acceptable option for some couples. The main thing is not to harbor false hopes for the restoration of what was doomed a long time ago. In this case, it is better to part not with friends, but with strangers who do not provoke each other until the feelings fade away for good.
Author: Yulia Baturina