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1. A couple needs to be found by a certain date
For example, up to 30 years. Or to get a degree. Or before all the friends and classmates get married. Otherwise, tragedy, eternal loneliness and “what people will think.” This setting is especially relevant for women who, immediately after coming of age, allegedly begin to tick the clock. Although men also get it – how is it, already almost 30, but still single, you need a good wife, and as soon as possible.
But relationships are not an area where you need to rush. A person pushes himself, sets deadlines, in violation of which he is very worried, considers himself wrong and flawed. And in the end, he runs the risk of grabbing the first more or less suitable partner, just to meet a certain time frame. And this approach can lead to disappointments, toxic relationships, or painful breakups.
2. You will recognize “your” person immediately
You will see – and you will understand: here it is, the very one, the long-awaited and the only one. Butterflies will flutter in the stomach, the heart will skip a beat, and there will instantly be common topics for conversation. And then there will be no disagreements – only romance, and everything is like clockwork. Because that’s the only way it happens when you meet your true soul mate.
And if love didn’t come at first sight or the relationship doesn’t develop like in a romantic movie, then the person is not very suitable for you.
This is precisely the danger of the myth of halves: we run the risk of missing an interesting person just because the heart did not skip a beat at the first meeting with him. Or, on the contrary, decide that since the relationship with the alleged soulmate did not work out, it means that you will not succeed with anyone else.
3. You must match in everything with your ideal partner.
That is, you should have the same tastes, interests, identical views on life and opinions on all important issues. And it is also desirable that age, level of education, financial situation match.
Otherwise, what kind of couple is this, where one is skydiving, and the other is sitting at home, eating cookies and knitting scarves? Or one earns a lot, and the other not so much. Expect conflicts, swearing, and eventually parting.
In fact, different views on life, of course, can be a reason for quarrels and even a break. However, the complete coincidence of life positions and hobbies also does not guarantee that the relationship will develop successfully. After all, if you focus only on this, you can miss an interesting person.
4. You and your partner must be different.
Because opposites attract and in ideal relationships people complement each other in everything. One leader, another slave; one is weak, but the second is strong, and so on. You need to look for a person with those qualities that you yourself lack. Only in this way will the couple be truly strong and stable.
Perhaps there is some truth in this theory. But living people are not computer parts that can be successfully selected according to certain characteristics.
5. You can’t show interest right away.
Even if you really like a person, you should not talk about it. And show too. You need to behave a little aloofly – as if you, of course, are a little interested in him, but not that much. And in general, you have a lot of other things to do and you are always a little unavailable. Most often, such advice is given to women and even girls – this is a classic combo of glossy magazines and encyclopedias for little princesses.
Don’t call first, don’t take the initiative, never admit your feelings, be late for dates, pause when you reply to messages.
Some men also adhere to this tactic. Sometimes this is done consciously – in order to manipulate a partner, to bind her to himself. This is what pickup trucks do. And sometimes it’s just about the installation memorized from childhood.
The problem is that real, sincere relationships should not consist of manipulation, games and conventions. Therefore, if you like a person, showing it is absolutely normal.
6. Love is not the main thing at all
The main thing is that the person be good, and feelings will come with time. You need to choose with your mind, not with your heart, because emotions fade anyway. And in general, even if at first you don’t like something in a partner, you can gradually get used to everything: as they say, if you endure it, you will fall in love with it. That is, in fact, we are talking about relationships of convenience, although not always monetary.
Choose a person according to certain parameters and according to the ability to perform specific functions, like a technician in a store.
And whether you will have any feelings for him is already a secondary matter. Yes, such a model of relations may well suit someone: according to survey According to VCIOM, about 24% of respondents enter into marriages of convenience. And someone, on the contrary, will make deeply unhappy.
7. You need to show yourself only from the good side.
At the dawn of a relationship, and even more so while they have not yet begun, in no case should the partner know that you are a living person with your own shortcomings. It is necessary to carefully hide all the flaws – both external and internal. Pack yourself in tight underwear and laugh at unfunny jokes. Lie that you never lose your temper, don’t lie on the couch all weekend playing consoles, don’t swear, don’t overeat junk food.
Or even think out for yourself non-existent talents and achievements. After all, if you demonstrate your true “I” – touchy, lazy, with bad habits – this can scare off a partner.
The problem is that it’s all a scam. Sooner or later, he will open, and your couple will not thank you. Maybe, at the first meeting, it is not necessary to throw out a complete list of your sins on the interlocutor, but deliberately hiding something or lying is also a bad idea.