1. Pathological jealousy

Some people think that there is no love without jealousy. Therefore, the desire to constantly know where the partner is and with whom is the best confirmation of sincere feelings. And if someone is tormented by constant suspicions, then he is lucky and simply does not understand how lucky he is.

In fact, jealousy is a much more complex feeling, which, however, does not exclude love. Sometimes it is fueled by the dubious behavior of the second partner and the lack of attention on his part. The logic here is simple: if I don’t get attention, then it is being given to someone else.

But jealousy also disguises the desire to completely control the life of another person. Just forbidding him to leave the house and forcing him to report on every step will not work: it sounds very stupid. But if everything is served under the sauce of anxiety and fear that a partner may be taken away, then total control begins to be perceived as something harmless and even desirable.

As a result, the victim of a jealous partner either jumps out of this relationship in time, or stops going somewhere and communicating with someone. And social isolation is no longer a hidden sign of psychological abuse.

2. Requiring access to correspondence

Passwords from all social networks may be required from you as proof of love and serious intentions. Indeed, in a relationship, the main thing is trust, you should not have secrets from each other. At the same time, the partner can be the first to show you their accounts in order to demonstrate that he himself is ready for full transparency.

As cute as it looks, it’s worth the effort. At least because people in relationships are still independent units with their own social circle. And in correspondence, not only their data is hidden, but also the secrets of the interlocutors and corporate information.

In general, the need to read other people’s messages does not stand up to any logic. Why do it? To find out in time about the betrayal of a partner? It is unlikely that he will start tricks in correspondence, knowing that they are reading it. There is no point in continuing a relationship with someone you don’t trust.

3. Issuing ultimatums

Usually when you are given a choice, it turns out to be uncontested. On one side of the scale lies “I and our relationship”, on the other – something also important, otherwise the problem simply would not exist. But such issues are resolved by negotiations and discussion of how to make friends interests among themselves. And an ultimatum is just an attempt to squeeze out of your life everything that your partner does not like.

4. Uncontrollable passion

A partner often gets carried away and hurts you or ignores requests not to do something. As a result, everything can end with hickeys in prominent places, torn hair, scratched back.

A beautiful version will most likely sound like this: “You turn me on a lot, I just can’t control myself.” But it would be more correct to replace “I can’t” with “I don’t want to”. Alas, if over and over again your requests and desires are ignored, you are perceived not as a full-fledged participant in sex, but as an object to satisfy needs. Later, objectification may also extend beyond the bed.

5. Neglect

You got sick and asked your partner to buy medicine, but he forgot, and your recovery will now be delayed. You were going to a concert and bought tickets in advance, but did not get there because he was very late for no good reason. Your parents said that their dog, with whom you spent your entire childhood, died. But they require you to “wipe your snot” and do not allow you to survive this grief. Neglecting your health, emotions, desires is also violence.

6. Evil jokes

The partner constantly makes fun of you, including in public. To logical indignation, he reproaches you for your lack of a sense of humor and continues to bombard you with barbs.

By themselves, unsuccessful remarks still do not say anything. Everyone can make a mistake and blurt out stupidity. It is much more eloquent to ignore the fact that you do not like these statements. You may not really have a sense of humor, but discontent should be enough to stop the spiteful jokes. You have a relationship here, not a stand-up festival, and comfort is much more important in them. Alas, systematic humiliation wrapped in a shell of jokes is a direct mockery.

7. Defamation of acquaintances

In case of any disagreement with someone, the partner not only takes your side, but also actively begins to throw mud at your friends, colleagues, and parents. All of them, it turns out, are full of shortcomings that you did not notice before, and are simply unworthy to communicate with you. They don’t seem to forbid you to meet directly, but sooner or later you will think about whether it is worth keeping in touch with such disgusting people, while also upsetting your loved one. They only wish you well. But this is again the path to social isolation. As soon as you have no one to turn to for help, the emotional abuser will unfold in full.

8. Compliments through comparison

You seem to be showered with compliments, but you are always smart, beautiful, funny and wonderful only in comparison with someone. It seems nothing criminal, but you should beware. If only because you are valuable not in and of themselves, but in some incomprehensible rating. There is a great risk that soon you will give way to someone on the podium and will be forced to fight for leadership. Although this is initially a losing and meaningless competition.

9. Abuse of surprises

An unexpected change of plans can definitely add variety to your life. But not when it becomes an element of control. For example, you are tired and refuse to go to a party. You plan to spend time playing a computer game, but – surprise – a partner brings a party to you. We wanted to go to the museum on the weekend in order to be in time for the closing exhibition, but they give you movie tickets. Your desires and needs are clearly not a priority.

10. Appearance control

If a person is critical of your clothes or hairstyle and demands to change everything the way he likes, this is not a hidden sign of psychological abuse, but an alarm siren. However, she is often underestimated, writing off the desire to control someone else’s appearance as a concern.

The partner can express his preferences regarding your appearance, but his voice in this matter is deliberative, not decisive. And the opinion should be presented in a delicate, non-humiliating manner. If someone starts changing your wardrobe without asking for help, let alone spoiling and throwing things away, this is a reason to be wary.