Inability and unwillingness to plan goals – what is the reason for such a psychological feature?
There are people who are more afraid of mice, heights or terrorists than the question: “What are you doing tomorrow night?” “I don’t like guessing! – they get angry at attempts to coordinate plans. – You never know how it will turn out … What if I get into a traffic jam? Or will a brick fall on your head?!” Such a person, even at a good job, is not put off: what if there is another jump in prices. Even under torture, he does not admit when and where he is going on vacation: suddenly nothing will work out.
The mossy superstition – not to talk about your plans, so as not to jinx it, is based not so much on communication with evil envious spirits, but on psychological fears.
● The sacred horror of change. Many do not like any changes and do not want to think about them. Whether success will come with time is still unknown, but illness and death will appear in one hundred percent of cases. It’s uncomfortable to think about something you can’t hold in your hands.
● Fear of defeat. Last time I thought about it and it didn’t work. I won’t think anymore! True, the chances that it will turn out are reduced even more.
● Fear of freedom of choice and responsibility for it. By saying “I’ll be there at three sharp,” you promise to take matters into your own hands. No, let it be!
● Life anxiety. We do not dare to think over intervals of more than an hour in order to get rid of the feeling that we are not doing anything significant, we are stalling and standing idle, that life is passing by and in vain. The “last day syndrome”, when you act as if everything will end tomorrow and the day after tomorrow you will no longer have to answer, is also rooted in fear of life: so long and complicated!
Why think and talk about the future, which is still impossible to foresee completely? For at least two reasons.
Firstly, when you act haphazardly, most often it turns out later that what was done was not at all what was needed.
Secondly, if you do not want to take anything to calculate, then your time and resources will eventually be managed by anyone and anything – except yourself. And this is no longer the desired freedom, but just its complete opposite!
The main thing is understanding: from the fact that you will roughly imagine what you will do on the weekends and who you would like to work in five years, there will be no harm but good. Even if this is not entirely true, it is easier to “dance” from landmarks.
The second stage is to master some practical skills.
1. Even if you are an “irrational person”, you act relying on chance – keep in mind that this principle may not work. And think over a more logical version of the sequence of actions – as a spare.
2. Starting to build forecasts, do not get carried away building castles in the air. To give impetus to concrete action, the plan must be related to reality. That is, to be realizable in real time.
3. If your neighbors are not too deceived by your manner of acting thoughtlessly and at random, why not cooperate with them? One family member may be “responsible” for long-term projects, the other for pleasant surprises. Unless, of course, in the family advice and love.
Editor’s advice. Under the “fear of questions about what happens next” other psychological barriers can also be hidden. To smooth them out, you need to understand if you have them.
● “I feel good here too.” Without thinking about the consequences of your actions, it is easier to convince yourself of their correctness. Now everything is fine, right? And about what result it will lead to in a year and what will happen because of my actions – and do not speak!
● “I’ll think about it tomorrow.” When you need to do something, but really don’t feel like it, you put it off all the time and don’t want to discuss it. ostrich method.
● “It won’t get any better anyway.” Pessimistic perception of the future is an attempt to embellish the present moment. You tune in to the inevitable worsening of the situation – and thereby, as it were, improve the current moment.
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