Failures in love, as a rule, we explain problems with appearance, lack of sexuality, low self-esteem. But sometimes just a little change in behavior is enough to improve our chances. Find out what to avoid in dealing with men.
According to psychologists, almost half of single women doubt their external attractiveness. Yes, the appearance of women is important for men, but very often it is not enough: mistakes in behavior often repel very attractive women.
1. “Look how cool I am!”, Or importunity
You are beautiful, charming and smart. And you certainly want to prove that it’s better for him not to meet you! You are ready to discuss any film, drag it to every concert-exhibition-presentation that takes place in your city, strive to be the center of attention in any company – “Let everyone see how lucky he is!” You are ready to wisely forgive him for being late for a date, you are not offended when he does not call for a week, and suddenly … you find out that he is dating someone else! Something went wrong? Everything from the very beginning, unfortunately.
What to do? Men are conquerors by nature, their life is an eternal rivalry. The more they put in effort to conquer, the more valuable the prey is for them and the more pleasure from possessing it. Your initiative devalues you in their eyes.
2. “Let’s talk about our relationship” or impatience
You’ve been dating for two months. You become attached to him more and more, but how he treats you is still unclear. Yes, he calls every day, but you are still unfamiliar with his friends and parents. When talking about the future, he does not use the word “we”. You start to get nervous – time is running. You try to provoke him to be frank: you invite a friend to the wedding, you are interested in what kind of baby names he likes, etc. And he starts calling less and less, and then completely disappears from the horizon …
What to do? Be patient and mentally assign yourself “Day X”. Constant hints unnerve a man: it begins to seem to him that he is being driven into a trap. And his only desire is to break free! As a rule, after six months of meetings, a man begins to form an image of your relationship, and then you can start a serious conversation. But be prepared for the fact that the result of the conversation will disappoint you: if a man needs to be asked “How do you see our relationship in the future?”, Most likely, he does not see them at all.
3. “I can do without you”, or excessive independence
Not only do you not take the initiative yourself, but you look at his steps towards him with suspicion. As a rule, such behavior is characteristic of those who have already “burned themselves” with a previous partner and are now not inclined to trust the representatives of the stronger sex. You are proud and independent and secretly hope that he will appreciate it and respect you. Unfortunately, this will be the only feeling he will have for you…
What to do? Gone are the days when a man was a breadwinner for a woman and generally the only light in the window. But nevertheless, all representatives of the stronger sex passionately dream of seeing in the eyes of their chosen one admiration for his knowledge and skills: for a man, acceptance by a woman is the only criterion for her love. A man is ready to become a companion of even the most energetic and successful business woman, provided that she leaves him an area where he will be an unconditional authority for her. Is it hard for you to find such an area?
4. “My ex was a scoundrel,” or unnecessary frankness
With such stories, women try to justify their current loneliness. And at the same time – to evoke sympathy and a desire to protect and warm her offended heart. Wrong tactic! If a woman can still be won over by arousing pity, then all the “unfortunate” men are simply repelled.
What to do? Try not to mention your ex at all. Believe me, this is quite possible: as surveys show, most men do not want to hear anything about them.
5. “Does this dress make me look fat?” or insecurity
Men love it when a woman takes care of herself. But they don’t like boosting her self-esteem by constantly assuring her that she hasn’t gained weight, that this trouser style doesn’t make her legs crooked, and that the reddish tint of her hair doesn’t turn her pale. Every fifth of the men surveyed confirmed that a woman’s constant doubts about her attractiveness irritate and cause a desire to break off an acquaintance.
What to do? Stop asking for moral support! Yes, that’s what psychologists call it. A man does not analyze you in parts: if he chose you, then, in general, he likes you. On this, calm down. And try to maintain the look that conquered him. Believe me, this will be enough.
6. “I love to cook!”, or petty lies
According to psychologists, at the beginning of dating, more than 40% of men and women hide some information about themselves. And 27%, trying to please a partner, embellish the facts. Most often, we lie about age, some habits (men hide their craving for alcohol, women make themselves great housewives) and financial situation. We believe that as soon as we become a couple, all the understatements and petty “lies” will dissipate by themselves. And this, unfortunately, is not so.
What to do? Be honest. No matter how much you want to make a good impression, it’s better not to lie: as statistics show, women can still forgive the distortion of facts for fear of losing a partner, while men are intolerant of women’s lies and immediately break off relations.
How to become happy? Look:
Author: Lisa Women’s magazine