You are furious: your beloved is guilty again and … behaves as if nothing had happened! Ah well? And the scandal is about to break out … Wait, not everything is so simple. To begin with, a man who feels guilty will do everything possible so that you never guess about it! Forcing a man to ask for forgiveness is pointless.

A man can ask for forgiveness in many waysA man can ask for forgiveness in many ways

Do you want to see the sincere repentance of a loved one? Stock up on tact and patience, and also learn to recognize special male “excusing” tricks.

As a rule, it is not the man’s act itself, but precisely his refusal to discuss his “offense” that leads to serious conflicts. If he admitted that he was wrong, we would immediately forgive him. It is important for us to hear the sacramental “forgive me”, but the words are not spoken, and the offense becomes even stronger and deeper. We accuse a man of callousness and indifference (“You don’t give a damn about me”) and feel rejected. In addition, while there is no apology, the point in the quarrel is not set and it is impossible to forget it.

“Cases when a woman cannot let go of long-standing grievances, just from this series. Yes, he was guilty, he knew about it, but did not express remorse, even though you directly told him: “I need you to just ask for forgiveness,” psychologist Svetlana Ievleva explains the situation.

Why is this happening? The answer is simple and complex at the same time.

First, men see apologies as a sign of weakness. By apologizing, a woman seems to get another opportunity to show her best qualities – tolerance, gentleness, generosity, and this, you see, is always pleasant. Men who feel guilty, as well as compassion or shame, categorically do not like themselves: they often perceive such emotions as a sign of weakness. Well, do not demonstrate it to the woman you love, after all!

Secondly, men are practically not prone to empathy. Therefore, your loved one often cannot even imagine that you are not just “pouting”, but really suffering because of his inattention or thoughtless word.

Men rarely understand women's moods.Men rarely understand women's moods.

And thirdly, men simply do not know how to ask for forgiveness. There is nothing strange about this: they rarely ask for forgiveness, so how can they learn to do it right?! What seems completely natural to us women is a huge problem for them. At the same time, men are well aware that it is necessary to give some kind of conciliatory signal. And sometimes they do it in rather strange ways …

The representatives of the stronger sex have a whole arsenal of means to achieve forgiveness without a formal “excuse me”

1 …come home with flowers and champagne

A man asks for forgiveness not with words, but with deedsA man asks for forgiveness not with words, but with deeds

For a woman who expects a direct apology from a man, this act causes exceptional dissatisfaction. “Champagne? Do we have a reason to drink it?” she says and defiantly leaves, slamming the door. The man is completely confused. “How so, because I wanted to fix everything! What more does she want from me?” he thinks. The situation comes to a standstill.

Keep in mind! Usually this is how men act, accustomed to constantly restrain their emotions. Those who in childhood were often reproached for being too sensitive (“acting like a girl”). As a result, they have grown so tightly into the image of a “real man” that they have forgotten how to express feelings normally. In order to say the cherished “sorry”, they need to remove the inner barrier.

He brought champagne, in fact, not to you, but to himself. After all, alcohol is the easiest and fastest way to liberate yourself. Simple but dangerous. Behavioral stereotypes associated with alcohol are fixed very quickly. Therefore, thank, smile, but do not open the bottle and offer to leave it until better times. Most importantly, peace has been restored.

2 … go to my mother-in-law to hang a chandelier

Sometimes a man tries to make amends with help around the house. Sometimes a man tries to make amends with help around the house.

In fact, the chandelier has been hanging for 2 months, but the mother-in-law is so surprised that she does not mind – let her help. “What a caring person he is,” she tells you afterwards. “You shouldn’t be offended by him.” The purpose of such a subtle maneuver is to show you “how good he is.” And it has been achieved!

Keep in mind! When a man feels that resentment is stronger than his guilt, he understands that doing something for a partner is pointless. But you can try for her loved ones and kill several birds with one stone: restore your self-esteem, resolve the situation with the help of other people and demonstrate your own perfection to your wife.

Some women react very negatively to this. “For me, he did nothing,” they say, and continue to be offended. This tactic eventually leads to the fact that a man gets used to receiving praise on the side and he no longer needs home forgiveness. Others thaw immediately. And they do it right. The expression of delight, even ironic, only strengthens the relationship.

3 … injure an arm or twist a leg

A man can get sick because of worriesA man can get sick because of worries

They can, for example, catch an acute respiratory disease or complain about an exacerbation of something chronic – in general, urgently to bed. They lie under the covers, do not move, and to the question “How are you?” mournfully answer: “It’s all right, don’t worry.”

Keep in mind! “Pe-re-live-wai! the man really thinks. “You see how I suffer, so stop torturing me with guilt.” And this is not a simulation at all, but a really bad feeling. He did everything he could: gave a ring, went to school, peeled potatoes – and the woman is still pouting. There is only one way out: to become a victim yourself. And the body readily provides this opportunity. In most cases, this method works: the wife needs an emotional shake-up to allow herself to forgive the offender.

4 … declare angrily: “Because of you, I put my beloved hamster to sleep, and you!!!”

In fact, this statement is far from the truth. “It was a long time ago when we just started dating,” the woman answers the accusation. “He disturbed my sleep, and you said you took him to a living corner.” If a man himself embarked on the path of accusations, then no arguments will work. Every word will turn against you. A lot of your wrongdoings will come up along the way, from little things like “thrown away my shoes” to generalizations like “you never loved me.”

Keep in mind! Sometimes this bears fruit and cools the educational ardor of a woman. It is important to ensure that the conversation does not turn into shameless manipulation. If you feel like this is happening, don’t let it change the subject. “What’s with the hamster? You scolded me in front of everyone, and that’s what I’m dissatisfied with.”

5 … collapse in a suit on the bed and fall asleep in this form

Guilt can literally knock a man off his feetGuilt can literally knock a man off his feet

Parents often play on guilt in raising a child: without saying anything, they make it clear that he acted badly. Children in such situations quickly understand: if you do something even more terrible, mom will stop being silent. She will scream and then forgive.

Keep in mind! Men sometimes act the same way. The more she is silent, the more he provokes her. Until finally the woman explodes: “Are you completely already?” Now he is ready for dialogue and you can communicate constructively. Seize the moment!

“Sensitive, caring, apologetic husbands sometimes do meet. But they become so only thanks to women,” says psychologist Svetlana Ievleva.

It’s simple: men willingly change their behavioral responses when they see meaning and benefit in them. Do not be lazy to explain why and what exactly you expect from your loved one! In addition, men are ruled by logic, not emotions. That is why repentance can come to them in a few months. You have already forgotten what happened then, and he is tormented and sincerely asks for forgiveness.