Today, many young, beautiful and smart women refuse to get married. Is it a problem? You can say yes, if, of course, you are for demographic growth, for a constant “offspring” of the population, etc. But I think that this is not really a problem, because every 2nd girl makes the choice to remain alone because that she doesn’t know how to behave in marriage, doesn’t understand why she needs this family, and in general she is busy with other, more “important” things … Thus, if you find answers to these questions, then many will have a desire to create happy families women. Today we will analyze what prevents you from getting married, what you need to do about it and what are the secrets of family happiness.
1. You mixed up the roles in the parental family
You often give money to your parents, because they are retired, and therefore you talk to them like a “breadwinner”, that is, edifying and demanding. Your parents divorced, and you are forced to take care of your mother, which means that you have become a “deputy” to the role of her husband and therefore control her and indicate how to live. You feel smarter and more advanced in every way, more “modern”, so you give advice to all family members, thinking it’s good. This is a small list of examples of you mixing up roles with other family members. You forgot that you are a daughter and became masculine. You forgot that you are younger, you have become tougher and more aggressive. You don’t notice the change when you’re inside it, but the fact that you’re not married only proves that I’m right. Think about it, does a man want to marry a “man”? And you are emotionally and in your behavior exactly like a man, even if you wear a floor-length skirt.
2. You received a birth curse instead of a blessing.
You think, “Strange, I never thought that. After all, a curse is something terrible or some kind of retribution for unworthy behavior, and I have always behaved more or less worthy. Darling, if you were criticized, compared to other children, condemned, caused chronic guilt, shame or fear, you were unconsciously “cursed”. This means that you were not like other children, which means that your parents were unhappy. It was in their power to do you what happened, but you could not overcome this and remained unmarried. Or you got divorced and now you can’t get married again. Parents bless their children with their love, praise, admiration, and everyone needs to know this.
3. You think that there are no such perfect as your dad, and you don’t need others
This is the other extreme, when your father “loved you”, spoiled you, just carried you in his arms, and you began to compare all your men with him. Of course they lost, they were not like him. Moreover, dad still guesses all your desires and is ready to fulfill them, and you don’t need to do anything for this. Convenient, right? After all, a married woman needs to learn to communicate with a man and ask if you need something. I think that you need to work with your role of “daddy’s girl”, here it is clearly manifested.
4. You resent your ex-partner, whom you broke up with.
You already know a lot, went through a bunch of trainings, read dozens of books, and even “went to try marriage.” True, you forgot that when we try, nothing comes out serious. We don’t try very hard. So your relationship in a civil union did not end with a wedding. You broke up, or maybe even had an abortion or experienced betrayal and betrayal. Why not a trailer for the movie “All Men Are St…”? But you forgot that relationships are built long and hard, that resentment interferes with this and you need to be able to forgive, let go of everything that was in the past. You will say: “I forgave and forgot long ago.” Then why aren’t you married? Why are you regularly treated for gynecological diseases? These are all insults to men!
5. You play proud Amazon or businesswoman.
This is one of your favorite scenarios in which you run away from a happy family relationship. You believe that a family can be built as a business project. But I forgot that love is the basis of the family! And this is the ability to show their feminine qualities. Do you show them at work? You realize yourself there in real man’s armor. You are like an Amazon – independent, confident, achieving your goals at any cost. And the price of your achievements is loneliness. Outwardly, you play proud and self-sufficient, but inside you have not realized the potential of tenderness and kindness, love and care. This is the potential of the True Woman.
family psychologist-psychotherapist, author of 13 health books,
joys and relationships, an expert in the field of family life