How to understand that this is YOUR man? Finding your soul mate, building harmonious and strong relationships is the dream of every woman. Psychologists say: relationships will be long and happy if 7 conditions are met.

Psychologists have identified 7 signs of an ideal couplePsychologists have identified 7 signs of an ideal couple

Some women are unhappy with their partner, complain that he ruins their lives. But for some reason they endure and do not leave him! And even when quarrels and disagreements happen with a partner more and more often, many of us console ourselves with the thought: “Nothing, you have to be patient, get used to it, everything will change for the better…” Why? For what? Let’s figure this out together.

Trapped in dangerous illusions

Let’s start with why many women commit their lives to the wrong partner. According to psychologists, there are several reasons for this.

Primarily, lack of self-esteem, which creates an external and internal deficit. If a woman is self-confident, considers herself attractive and worthy of true love, she becomes a magnet for men. Representatives of the stronger sex are drawn to her, want to get to know each other, invite her on dates. Remember, you probably have such an acquaintance or girlfriend who is always in the center of male attention. That is, she has a choice of partners, and she enjoys using it. If a woman doubts her worth, then her choice is sharply reduced. At best, she chooses from two or three men, at worst – from one …

Fear of loneliness makes a woman stay with the wrong partnerFear of loneliness makes a woman stay with the wrong partner

And here it is, the second reason for a rash decision – fear of loneliness.
In our society, there is still an opinion that a girl needs to find a mate as soon as possible – “Otherwise, they will sort out all the good ones!”. And fear is a bad helper when choosing a life partner: seeing how her girlfriends get married every now and then, a girl often follows their example, not really thinking about whether she really wants to live happily ever after with this particular person.

And finally, another dangerous and very common illusion is that a husband can be “trained”.

“In a relationship, you need to be guided by the law of the supermarket“ What you see is what you get, ”says American psychologist Ann Arber. “When you buy a frozen pizza, you don’t expect that if you just reheat it well, it will turn into a chocolate cake?”

The relationship between the teacher and the pupil will not bring anything good: either the man will rebel and leave, or he will turn into a passive henpecked.

How to stop running in a circle?

Loneliness together is the saddest kind of lonelinessLoneliness together is the saddest kind of loneliness

And here is the natural result. Yes, now a woman has someone to present to friends and relatives, there is someone to put in her dreams of an ideal life. And in order to save all this, she tries her best, swallows grievances and claims, adjusts to his needs or, conversely, “wisely” motivates and directs … But sooner or later the illusion of a good relationship dissipates. A woman suffers, complains to her friends: “I spent my best years on him, but he doesn’t put me in anything!” She is angry with a man, makes scandals, but … still stays with him. Why?

To get out of unfinished relationships and create new ones, a woman needs energy, self-confidence, in her future. She also needs to know where and how to meet men. And the most important thing is to be able to choose your person from all the applicants and build harmonious relations with him. But alas, she does not have all this. She is guided by internal inferiority and the fear of being left alone after a divorce or breakup, again feeling like no one needs her. Therefore, she remains next to not her man and continues to persuade herself, to indulge in illusions that someday everything will work out. And life flies by…

Who suits me?

How not to be in such a situation? There are two options: either immediately choose your man, or, if you have already made a mistake, do not be afraid to change something. But how do you know if a partner is right for you or not? Here are 7 main criteria that will help you understand if you can build a strong and happy relationship.

How to know if your partner is right for youHow to know if your partner is right for you

1. You can be yourself with him.

Don’t be afraid to say “no” if you don’t agree with something. You openly show your feelings, talk about your needs. You express your opinion, knowing that he will try to understand you and not be offended.

2. Each of you accepts your partner as he is.

With all its shortcomings and advantages. And he doesn’t try to change it. Despite quarrels, you are satisfied with your partner and life with him.

3. Your core values ​​are the same.

In strong relationships, partners usually have the same life values.In strong relationships, partners usually have the same life values.

You share common views on relationships, family, marriage, parenting, and even the distribution of household chores (which rarely happens).

4. You have something that unites you.

Sincere mutual feelings, common reality, interests, hobbies, good sex, confidential communication, the rhythm of life, goals, desires, friends, and more.

5. He appreciates you and loves you in your love language.

That is, he gives you not what he has, but what you need. And you reciprocate.

“Don’t look for love, look for someone who will give you happiness. Sooner or later love will be born out of happiness.” Actress Megan Fox

6. Both of you are ready to work on your relationship, to take each of your 10 steps towards.

Your partner, like you, has the strength and desire to go through different stages of relationships, making them better and stronger.

7. You can always count on each other’s support.

Your partner will never leave you alone with an important life issue, his natural desire is to protect and support you. And it’s mutual – because that’s what is called love!

Harmonious couples do not seek to change their partner to a younger one. Harmonious couples do not seek to change their partner to a younger one.

“The secret to a happy marriage? Listen and hear each other. And sometimes just shut your mouth.” Actress Meryl Streep

And if this is still the hero of not your novel?

“Remaining in difficult, unsatisfying, and sometimes even destructive relationships for a woman’s psyche is extremely dangerous for health,” psychologists emphasize. Therefore, it is worth weighing everything and if the partner does not show a desire to move towards your wishes, proceed to decisive action.

  1. Determine what is driving you: accumulated grievances and grievances, the desire to have everything your way, or common sense and an honest understanding that you (perhaps both) made the wrong choice?
  2. Then answer the question for yourself: “What needs to happen for me to want to save this marriage or relationship? What should my partner be like? What needs to change in our lives?” Then analyze how realistic your expectations are, whether a man is capable of these changes, whether such behavior is characteristic of him, and most importantly, for what he should make all these efforts.
  3. Having sorted everything in your head, move on to communicating with your partner. Choose a time when you are both in a good mood and are not in a hurry, and discuss everything honestly with a man. Tell him about your feelings, expectations and talk about what to do in this situation.
  4. If you see that the partner is not ready for change, move on to action. Don’t be afraid of breakups. Remember: you are not making a choice between an unsuitable man and loneliness, but between a happy and unhappy life!

How to become happy? Look:

Author: Women’s magazine “Lisa”

Source: Youtube