In the classical sense, a gigolo is a man who lives on the content of a woman in exchange for intimate services. It used to be that they are found in secular circles, where there are many wealthy women. However, now many frames and facets have been erased, any man who uses a woman to get benefits.
This exchange is far from always direct – sex for money, modern forms of “alphonseism” are better veiled. A man can build a career, solve his housing problems at the expense of a woman, or use women’s capital for his business.
There is one thing common to all forms: a woman, directly or indirectly, is financially invested in a man. The man is not invested in any way. He uses the resources of a woman and remains in a relationship with her exactly as long as they, the resources, are.
Women are also kept. But it seems to me that the conditions and consequences of relationships “with peak interest” for women and men are not initially equal.
For many women, one of the basic needs is marriage and motherhood. Becoming kept women, they receive money in exchange for refusing to satisfy this need. A man does not marry them and is unlikely to give a child, but he generously pays precisely for what he does not marry and does not give.
The Alphonse man, if he is certainly not explicit, classic, who will immediately announce his price, is silent about selfish interest in a woman. On the contrary, he hides it under sincere interest and disguises it as a desire to build relationships.
The woman takes the bait. In return, she will not only not receive marriage and motherhood – she will also spend a material resource. Good sex with a gigolo is unlikely to compensate for such significant losses. Therefore, for women, relationships with gigolos are more destructive than for men, relationships with kept women.
How to recognize Alphonse?
Let’s start with the fact that the risk of falling for a gigolo exists with any social inequality in relationships. Do you have your own apartment, but the man does not? Do you have a high position and salary, and the man works as a simple clerk? Do you have your own business, and a man works for you as an employee?
All this is inequality. However, it does not mean anything by itself. A man may not have his own housing and live in a woman’s apartment, but at the same time it is good to earn and invest money in both a woman and housing.
Lack of investment in a woman and in a relationship with her, at the same time, the use of her resources without constraint (for example, to live in her apartment, to ride in her car) indicates that a man is interested not in a woman, but in these same resources.
In this case, you can protect yourself and check the man by offering to split the bills: “Yes, you live with me, but then we pay in half for utilities and dump on groceries.” Or: “Take my car, but fill it up, please, when you return.”
An obsessive interest in a woman’s work and connections. When a man directly asks him to introduce him to someone, ask someone for some benefit for him, introduce him to a certain circle, this can also indicate that you are interesting to a man with your capabilities.
This point is easy to check, for example, by refusing a man’s request. If there is no self-interest, the man will normally react to the refusal and begin to look for other opportunities without losing his relationship with you. But if it exists, requests will be repeated, and refusals will be perceived with resentment and pressure.
Direct requests for money, even in debt. But debts are not repaid on time or are forgotten altogether. Money itself is energy. This is why financially successful men are so attractive. Not only because of finances, but because energy comes from them.
Energy is power. Strength attracts. If a man takes money from a woman, and does not earn it, then the woman becomes a source of strength and energy, puts on a male role. Sooner or later, this negatively affects sex. Because in bed a woman begins to feel like a man.
Therefore, you can lend money once – everyone has force majeure. But if he asks again, especially when past debts are not returned or are not returned on time, he is almost certainly a gigolo and it is better to end the relationship.
Not only direct requests for money, for example, about your savings, but also requests to take out a loan for a man, since he himself cannot do it for some very good reason, and he needs money oh, how much he needs and this need is simply a matter of life and death.
This sign suggests that in front of you is not just a gigolo – in front of you is a swindler and a swindler. Here it is better to immediately call the police, almost certainly his data is already in the police database.
Of course, our world is material and we all use each other in one way or another, especially those who are now beating their chests with the words “I am selfless”.
We all want something from each other, and a person who says now: “I don’t need anything, take my flesh, blood and life”, personally, will scare me more than please.
But I am in favor of maintaining a balance of “give and take” in relationships and that their participants are honest with each other. If a man wants money from a woman, let him voice his price.
Not trying to hide it under the beautiful “I love you”, “you are the woman of my life.”