“Goats” do not go to psychologists. Although they could, because they have neither horns nor legs, at least four. And in my therapy chair they would fit perfectly. But the wives of the “goats” come to us. As soon as they sit down in a chair, they bring down on the psychologist “But my goat, he doesn’t do that, and that. And already I endure him, the bastard, I’m tired and tired, but I don’t want to get divorced. Or do you think it is necessary, with such and such a goat? But maybe you can somehow change it, you just tell me, I’m ready.
“Where else to change? You already screwed him over. Do you want to complete the evolution of bipeds into artiodactyls with my help?” – I think, but we move on
Any, timid, remarks of a psychologist that it is impossible to change someone, it is possible to change yourself, questions about how life works in a couple, what a woman does, what she has already done, what results – meet the answers “yes, I already did everything, I tried everything, but he’s a goat, he doesn’t appreciate anything, he doesn’t feel, he doesn’t understand, ”and then we again hear a very emotional monologue“ yes I am, I have so many things, and he ”. And one could get angry, the decision is obvious – get a divorce from the “goat”. But these women make me feel sorry. I see them as little girls with a programmed disrespect for men. There are even hate programs. But then, these women are most often lonely, but they come to a psychologist with the theme “how tired I am of being alone, but there are such “goats” around that there is no one to build relationships with.
A girl lived in a family where her mother disrespected her father. And for what to respect him, he drank, beat, did not help, he drank away his pay. Or he was quiet, sitting silently in the garage, making ship models, instead of earning extra money to go to build a career. Look like Lyudka’s husband, not yet 40, and already the boss. Or an ordinary man was, moderately ambitious, moderately caring, non-drinker, but my mother always lacked. Like that old woman from the fairy tale about the “Golden Fish”, she sawed her husband “sour soup, small pearls.” Or there was no dad at all. No, of course, as a biological unit, he was and his mother even loved him very much, but he ran away when he found out about the pregnancy, treacherously left us and did not appear again.
And something like that grandmother did with grandfather. Or, again, there was no grandfather “died at the front”, and the grandmother “raised five children alone.” And a girl from a young age gets used to the idea that you need to be careful with men, they don’t care “they only need one thing from you, horned goats.” She grows up, she is young, pretty. On her way, not “goats”, but “goats” – young guys begin to meet. And the girl falls in love, meets, marries. And here it begins, well, in general, you already understood, the man turned out to be a goat.
How does this program work? Does a woman attract worthless men, or do all men next to her become worthless? I think it works both ways. And they obviously marry alcoholics, drug addicts, the unemployed, lying – “I will change him with my love.” And they “wash down” a normal man so that he begins to “goat”. But I am sure that sooner or later a normal man breaks out of such a program. Even with scars from cut horns and removed hooves, even with pain. But they break out. But real goats in male form remain
Why, by the way, were they born “goats”? And because they had the same mother as the girl. Which dad did not respect and spread rot, but loved her son, he is the only one, he is a blood. And inspired him with the idea that the son deserves the best, just because he is, this is him. And how to grow up a son in such a clinch – on the one hand, “all men are goats”, and on the other, he is also a man. At least he has something in his pants. These boys have two options – either become a man, that is, a “goat”, or remain a sissy. But then there will either be no women in his life at all, or there will be as in the old Jewish joke “Doctor, Sarochka and I don’t make children. How do you make them? On the left side. Have you tried turning to the right? What are you, there mom!
There is a third option – a long, painful psychotherapy and changes after it. When the “horns” fall off and the “tail” falls off. But only a few are capable of this, and if they are capable, then by their own decision, their will to change, they cease to be “goats”.
It is also suitable for women. In the psychotherapist’s office, it is also long and painful, but gradually she begins to look at the world with different eyes. Recognize your responsibility for what is happening in her life, learn to talk to a man not from the position of “You worthless imperfection, now I will tell you how to do it,” but from the position of an equal with an equal – “You are good, I am good”, “I asked, You agreed”, “You are a man, and I am a woman.”
And then men come into her life. And the “goats” disappear forever.