Every time I pass kilometer-long letters “Masha, I love you” on the pavement or graffiti on the house “Happy Birthday Olya”, I smile. I imagine a guy who buys a bucket of paint, a brush, drags them to the windows of his girlfriend and displays some touching confession at night. How a girl, waking up in the morning and looking out the window, sees this confession for many more days, until rain, snow and the feet of passers-by turn romance into dust. How she calls her friends, choking with delight with the story “and mine, that’s what I did today.” And how enviously sighs girlfriends “oh, we would like that.” I smile and think how the value of actions changes with age, and the view of those who perform them.

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At the age of 20, graffiti on the pavement “Hare, you are the best” seem like a fairy tale. The guy who wrote them is practically a prince: “Of course he loves me, he can’t help but love, since he did this.” We take all these teddy bears, valentine hearts, announcements over the loudspeaker for the entire trolleybus “Katya, marry me” for love. Beautiful, bright, romantic. We do not look deep, we want a beautiful picture, a story that could be told on our page on the social network.

At 30, a teddy bear seems vulgar – “do you have no money for a normal gift?”. At 40, strange – “you’re stuck in adolescence.” You begin to appreciate men not for the form, but for the content

Not for how he wants to show himself, but for what he wants to do for you – no need for bears, it’s better to buy and screw a burnt out light bulb for me. Of course I can do it myself. And buy, and vkurtit, and ask you, and say. But it’s so cool when you come to my house and see that the light bulb has burned out, you don’t say “you don’t have light”, but just bring the light bulb next time and silently do everything so that it is.

At 20, we turn our attention to cars and restaurants. Where a man can invite us, where to take us. At the age of 30, we already have the machines themselves. At 40, both cars and restaurants. You appreciate him not for how he flaunts his car, but for making sure that the oil on yours is changed on time.

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At 40, you are grateful when he welcomes you home with a cooked dinner and puts a good movie on your computer. We can eat together, we can laugh together

No need to think about how I look, whether a fresh manicure is enough and whether the mascara has fallen off. He doesn’t have to think either. He can be unshaven, sit in front of you in socks and shorts. The main thing is that together you can relax. Renounce the fuss, the posture, the need to depict a picture. You know each other both in the pose and in the picture, but appreciate when everything is simple. Without masks. By “honesty”.

At 20, complex men are attracted. More precisely, not complex, but confused. “Oh, they don’t appreciate me at work”, “oh, I can’t find myself”, “I don’t know if I love you”, “I have a creative block, I need to be alone.” At the age of 20, hearing this, we gladly rush to save or prove. They don’t appreciate you at work – but I appreciate you so much, and in general this work is unworthy of you. If you can’t find yourself, let’s look together, maybe you should try this? You don’t know if you love me – I will change, I will improve, I will earn your love. If you want to be alone – honey, let me bring you lunches and leave them at the door while you think about the idea of ​​a new book, someone has to feed you.

At 30, you can still play with this confusion, at 40 you run away from it like hell from incense. There is no work, you can’t find yourself – so look, you need to think about it, and not about relationships. Are you not sure if you love – goodbye, I will find someone who is sure

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It is not the suffering losers who become sexy, but the men who have their own business. It doesn’t matter what they do – furniture production or coronary bypass surgery. The main thing is that a man, telling you about his business, burns with it. And it is the fire that ignites the return. You listen with interest to him about new models of door handle attachments, because at the same time he is so sexy, in his passion for business. In your confidence. In your passion.

At the age of 20, you still do not distinguish between married men. You can’t tell the truth from the “noodles”. That is why it hangs on your ears in such large, curly clusters. And later, with snot and complaints to her friends, “I didn’t know that he was married.” At 30, you can still get stuck in married people, you already distinguish them, filter out the “noodles”, but the illusion “what if I become the best” looks so tempting. At 40 married men you smell like a good hound. And keep as far away from them as possible.

You drank a lot of drama with them in your 20s and 30s – “If at 40 you still don’t know who you want to be with, you can spend the next 40 years deciding. If you decide and I’ll still be free, and most importantly, alive, let me know, then we’ll light it up.

At 20, you value men for their biceps and sculpted abs. An athletic body looks beautiful in bed. At 30, you still look longingly at a flat stomach and pumped up ass. But at the age of 40, you already know that for good sex, the relief of muscles alone is not enough.

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A man must understand that in addition to showing muscles, something else needs to be done with a woman.

You appreciate him for his tenderness, for his attentiveness to the shades of your subtle mood. For the fact that no matter how much he wants sex, having noticed your fatigue, he is able to simply fill the bath and give you a foot massage. And let at the same time you forgive him a funny belly, instead of 6 pack abs.

If at the age of 20 his bad habits attract. It’s beautiful to spit through your teeth or spice up your speech with a mother tongue – it seems so brutal and cool. Restlessness in alcohol. interest in drugs. Drinking, powdering your nose with cocaine – all this excites, from such a man it reeks of something forbidden and fascinating. At 30, spitting and swearing are just boors. You can still turn on to save an alcoholic, because there are few men, but you need to have time to get married. But at 40, you run around men with bad habits in the far circle. Life is short. To spend it on other people’s vices.

If at 20 and even at 30 we live the eternal female “He wants”, then by 40 we learn to find our desires

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We prioritize and set boundaries. No, we don’t shut out men. In my 40s, I still need a man. But only after work, manicure, articles and communication with friends. And by the way, by the age of 40 you understand that the difference between communicating with men and women. You stop torturing men with long monologues and resenting them for not actively listening.

High-quality (read – long and long) communication can only be obtained from a woman. We share flows, share roles. And gradually we begin to see men in men, not girlfriends, psychotherapists, romantic ideals, parental images or sex simulators. Wishing you a speedy insight.