What is the perfect date? This is naturalness and courage at the same time!
It would seem that the first romantic rendezvous is not a performance in front of a hall of many thousands, not passing an exam in political science to a picky professor, and not an interview for the vacancy of a chief accountant. Why then such experiences? Yes, because vague memories of past mistakes and someone else’s stories are superimposed on the usual excitement before the new and significant…
Stop panic! Let’s deal with all these dubious truths “in order to be interested, you need to …”, “all men are crazy when …” and “a decent girl should never …” – and oppose ordinary common sense to them!
● Show feelings or keep a distance? Both can be disappointing! And if the third? Your appearance – smile, glances, approving remarks – says how much you enjoy the company of a gentleman. And at the same time, you don’t stun him with statements that you dreamed about this from kindergarten with an eye on three grandchildren. He sees affection – and takes wings. But he does not hear unambiguous confirmations – and tries to consolidate his positions.
● Show English punctuality or Eastern vagueness? You show up earlier – somehow not in a feminine way. Charmingly linger for half an hour to sweat – offended. And then it will leave. Perhaps, we will choose the arithmetic mean – a delay of several minutes. On the one hand, you are on the wings of love. And on the other hand, he still worried for a couple of minutes!
● Show yourself in the most favorable light or be completely natural? If on the first date you appear as a thoughtful angel who can only afford to peck a “maple leaf”, and in a month he finds out that he connected his unearthly dreams with a laughter with an enviable appetite, he will be deceived. But the first impression always sinks deeper and is superimposed on subsequent ones. And what would be the best middle way? Simple: be yourself, but “at your best.” The best assistant will be courage and inspiration. Do you remember this state, when everything adds up and is easy to get? It will come now, just catch it!
What exactly is it better to temporarily throw out of your head during the first date?
● Critical approach to reality. Even if the damp weather does not warm – be patient, do not whine. Even if the waiter slows down – restrain yourself, do not grumble. Why give the impression of a bore? In a situation that is not comfortable enough, it’s better to joke about her – or unobtrusively use her for eloquent hints (“It’s so chilly that you want a warm wing!”, “It’s better for us – they gave us an extra half hour to talk!”).
● Slippery topics like past relationships or family relationships. No need to make him consider how vividly you still remember feelings for another. As for conversations about dad and mom, they prematurely tune in to a family mood. And ninety-nine men out of a hundred at the first meeting will prefer not to think about matrimonial plans.
● Everything difficult, nasty, problematic. You’re not on the psychotherapist’s couch! Every negative emotion will now be a cold wind blowing on a spark of fresh feeling. Forget about the tyrant-chef for the evening, do not touch social injustice, the political system and chronic diseases.
● Professional subtleties and nuances. There is a chance to imperceptibly jump on your skate – and rush off on it into the distances incomprehensible to the partner. But what about the feeling of non-everyday life, separation from the mortal earthly surface?
What then is safe ground, what then to talk about?
● About interesting places. Perhaps, in this park, Pushkin hugged his especially dear passion. Share! Not crushing, of course, with a carriage of erudition and a wagon of wit. Pause, waiting for a reaction, provoke the interlocutor to answer. Along the way, there are usually points of contact – and then the conversation flows along an independent channel.
● About what brings people together. Why not remember some funny or touching moments from childhood. Everyone once had big trees. Everyone sometimes gets nostalgic for a swing carousel. There is a high probability of finding understanding: “Oh, I also once …” Even incidents can cause the active participation of the second side (who was not smeared with toothpaste in the pioneer camp!), But it’s better not to overdo it with them.
● About pleasant impressions and bright plans. One of the most grateful topics is travel, travel and other leisure activities. Firstly, it sets you in a frivolous and relaxed way. Secondly, it makes it possible for both to recall their favorite places, which is win-win: it matches – “Oh, the miracle of the unity of souls!”, does not match: “I must certainly show you this!”
● Almost one hundred percent of boys of all ages love to show off. Praise – it will melt!
● It is better not to ask “closing” questions. Those that can be answered with an unambiguous short “yes” or “no” – that’s all, and the topic has been exhausted.
● Don’t show all your cards at once. Why would he, after the first hours spent together, know everything about you in the world? If he is too meticulous – answer, leaving room for maneuver. But drop the clues – something that you can return to another time.
● You didn’t like him at second sight? It happens! It is not necessary to send off the poor fellow in plain text – he will live even further. Just turn our tips inside out! Talk about boring things, crack a magpie, or act like Eeyore. Effective and harmless enough.
A few subtleties that it would be nice not to forget before the first date.
● When choosing clothes for this solemn occasion, it is necessary to take into account not only the showiness, but also the convenience of the outfit. In expensive shoes that are too tight for you, or under the threat of falling obstinate straps on a luxurious dress – and you feel unromantic, and you look too.
● To allow or not to have sex on the first date is a philosophical topic worthy of doctoral dissertations. It is better not to listen to idle opinions, but to trust your heart, the impression made by your counterpart, and reliable contraceptives.
● Taking sip after sip “for courage”, there is a risk of unnoticed sorting out. The consequences of this … brr, I don’t even want to imagine! So it is better to divide the dose desired by the body at this stressful moment by two.
Editor’s advice. Frequent calls on the mobile do not add romance to the rendezvous. According to a well-known law, at the most interesting place they will certainly begin to call … Defiantly turning off the phone, you signal to the gentleman: “Vanya, I am yours forever.” If you don’t need it yet, it’s better to put it (the phone, not the gentleman) in the answering machine mode in advance.
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