All parents fear adolescence. Yesterday’s child suddenly turns into an obstinate teenager who considers himself omniscient, and parental words are utter nonsense. And if it’s love…
Happy love will forget about studies, fail exams and ruin your future. Unhappy – will suffer and fall into depression. And you also need to somehow support the young lover and talk about contraception, because anything happens …
How to be parents?
Control, questioning and criticism of the chosen one is a sure way to undermine the confidence of a teenager. Ridiculed by the stoop, long hair and squeaky voice of “that boy”? For a growing daughter, this is tantamount to an insult to her own address. But there is absolutely no control. Do not comment on the child’s phone conversations, and he will stop locking the door and talking in a whisper. Be open, but unobtrusive – and the relationship will at least partially develop before your eyes.
Read also: What are the benefits of parental hugs for a child?
Special tact requires a situation where love is not mutual. The worst option in this case is the devaluation of the problem. Phrases like “there will be a hundred of them” are perceived as disrespectful: “It hurts me, but for you this is nonsense.” Try to explain that relationships don’t work out for a variety of reasons, and not at all because someone is good and someone is bad.
What not to do?
You should not seem like “friends on the board”: use teenage slang, ask frivolously frank questions, etc. Mom is mom, in some ways, perhaps, an older friend, but not a girlfriend of the same age. It is also not worth overloading a daughter or son with stories from your personal life. If they are needed to illustrate something, it is better to invent “one of your classmates” or “childhood friend”. Both you and your child will find it easier to talk.
Sexuality education is a complex topic. But it cannot be avoided: if parents do not help, the teenager will look for information on the Internet or, worse, turn to peers.
A teenager is concerned not so much with sexual attraction as with what happens to his body. Boys may worry about an erection that has occurred at the board, girls may be embarrassed by the hair growing on the body. It’s better to casually slip the right book or turn on a popular science film – not every child can discuss this with their parents.
Discussions about contraception should begin a little earlier than it becomes relevant: while the hormones are still not raging, you will be heard better. But the main thing that a teenager should understand and learn is that sexual relations are good only with a loved one. And love is care and responsibility.
Early sex life and defiant behavior are not evidence of depravity. More often, lonely and insecure children behave this way, not knowing how to attract attention and get at least a semblance of warmth. Instead of horror stories about AIDS and abortion, he needs the attention of his parents.
Look for more useful information in a video conversation with a psychologist:
Author: Lisa. Women’s magazine
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