I am not a supporter of theories “you can’t even pull a fish out of a pond without difficulty” and “if you suffer for a long time, something will work out.” If you spend too much effort on getting one small fish, then a lot of questions arise about labor efficiency and time management. And if you suffer for a long time, then you get only hemorrhoids and a bunch of other sores.
The effort expended to get something should be equal to the result. Or the result should slightly outweigh the effort. Then the balance of “give-receive” is observed and life is harmonious.
However, we stopped investing altogether. We hurry. Life is varied and varied. You need to have time to collect as many bonuses as possible per unit of time. Met – slept. We corresponded on Facebook, became friends, met, and parted ways. But we continue to proudly call ourselves “friends” on Facebook. We met at a party, chatted heartily, drank heartily, exchanged contacts. Then you can sleep and disperse. Or leave right away. Depending on each other’s sexual preferences. Because if you don’t disperse, you need to call, ask how you are, in general, somehow keep in touch. And then the other person may want something more. We, too, may want more. And then … More after all requires more effort. And the result is not guaranteed. Basically, do I need it?
We don’t even give each other a chance to develop anything more than one orgasm or pleasant social chatter. I’d rather go further up the hills without straining or investing. Not getting too
But at first we do not think about the shortfall. We fantasize that somewhere and someday we will meet great true love, or a devoted friend, or a faithful partner, and then we will begin to give.
But here lies the biggest trap in the life of modern man. Neither true love, nor a devoted friend, nor a faithful partner walk around with a sign “I’m your one.” They are hidden among the ordinary people we meet every day. But it takes time to see who is who. And to find out what will come out of the relationship with the one you have considered, it takes effort. Hurry devalues, and then you persuade yourself “yes, this is empty, nonsense, they just slept together, just chatted, this is a random person, there is no point in investing.”
We began to rush even in relation to ourselves. How many times all our impulsive “I want”, “come on”, “let’s go”, “quit” ended in a disappointed “why?” – “why did I buy this” ?, “why did I do this?”, “what am I doing here?”, “why did I rush to quit such a good job?”
We do not give ourselves time to stop and think about what we really want, where we are in a hurry, what will happen if we do not slow down. And as a result, like an old woman from a fairy tale, we sit with nothing. And friends from Facebook comfort: “Yes, you didn’t really need it.” I don’t need you, Facebook friends, I would have a leisurely chat with a real friend over a cup of hot aromatic coffee: “How are you? What do you live? Do you remember how we…” And laugh at this “remember” sincerely and cheerfully. And warm.
This does not mean that any impulse, any spontaneity is evil. Those impulses that are ripe are good. Like a cherry. We do not eat green and sour cherries. We let it blush, fill with juice and taste, and only then we pluck it from the tree.
A calm movement towards you makes it possible to consider the target. Try. savor it. Find out if you liked it. Think about whether you need to go further and try again.
A road leads to any great and pure love. And this road is woven from steps and efforts. Ask couples who have been together for 10, 20 or 50 years if they would have arrived at these dates if they were in a hurry and did not work
In nature, there are one-day butterflies. Or mayflies. Their life span is not more than a day. And on these days they need to have time to be born, leave offspring and die. We only manage to meet and say goodbye in a day. But we do not live only for a day. So maybe you shouldn’t be in such a hurry to say goodbye?