Many articles have been written about female friendship – who should be taken and who should not be taken as a friend, what conflicts and obstacles the relationship of two women faces. Until now, there are a number of doubters, but is there such a thing as female friendship, or is it the same phantom as female logic, or life on Mars.

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Women’s friendship, of course, is. And she is no less rich, valuable and interesting than the harsh male. However, there are a number of features of communication or female types that greatly spoil this friendship or completely stop it.

To a girlfriend-fan

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It doesn’t matter how old she is, 15 or 38. The important thing is that at any age this woman has an object of complete and comprehensive worship. It can be a man, a woman, a boss, a teacher – gender and the nature of the relationship with the object do not matter. However, as well as whether the relationship itself exists or is it just a figment of a fan’s fantasy.

The main thing is that choosing you as a friend, a fan expects from you the same worship of the object of her passion. You will be sent photos of the object “look how beautiful it is today”, they will generously share their delights with you about any actions of the object, you will be given poems dedicated to it to read, and so on.

That is, the nature of communication with you by 80% will consist of a discussion of who the fan is passionate about at the moment. And that someone will not be you at all.

This is a bit like the admiration of young mothers for their children, they also abundantly and enthusiastically share with the world how beautiful their baby is. Forgetting that there are many mothers and many babies in the world, and for each, their own is important, and all other people can have their own objects of admiration.

It’s hard to be friends with a fan unless you’re both into the same subject and you’re under 15. Because any of your conversations will come down to the person that the fan is passionate about, as in the old joke “if the fish had hair, it would be a mouse, so fleas …” – “so, you know how beautiful N is, yesterday he posted a post on Facebook in which he wrote … ”- and that’s it, she’s not interested in anything else.

star girlfriend

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Like a fan, she is passionate only about herself. She is the best, she is perfection, all men go crazy for her, and all women die of envy and jealousy.

She will only talk about this – how fans lie at her feet, how she tramples and neglects these fans, how everyone is standing in line to do something good and beautiful for her, how all people look at her with admiration, wherever she didn’t show up. Yes, 80% of communication is about her, her beloved, and how beautiful she is.

It’s hard to be friends with a star for two reasons^ firstly, you feel that you are being used as an enthusiastic viewer and admirer, secondly, you understand that most of what the star told is an exaggeration, you see an ordinary woman in front of you who is trying to convince you that she is unusual. It’s you walking down ordinary streets, meeting ordinary men with whom you try to build ordinary relationships with varying degrees of success. And the star sits in the castle, contemptuously examining another gift from a wealthy admirer and ponders whether to accept it or refuse it, because there is a line of new ones outside the door.

In our age of egocentrism, publicity and fashion for individuality, everyone considers himself a bright personality and you really need to try really hard so that someone is distracted from themselves and admires you.

Girlfriend drama

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Everything that happens to her is permeated with deep drama. And, of course, all the details of this drama, she is in a hurry to discuss with you.

It doesn’t matter how big this drama is and what it consists of – the fan has not responded to her message for 3 hours, or he did not text her how beautiful she is after the first date, or wrote, but not in the words that she expected – a storm of emotions constantly hits your head.

Hanging out with a drama friend is a constant one-man show that plays a very emotional and very tragic role in front of you. In dealing with her, you quickly get tired of both the intensity of emotions and their one-pointedness. And also from senselessness. Because at first, we respond to someone else’s drama with our emotions – we sympathize, we empathize, we try to help.

However, we quickly understand that all this is a storm in a teacup, there is no basis, no reason, no reason for such a drama. Or, if they are, then the drama friend herself contributed to them.

monologue girlfriend

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She is also passionate about herself, only unlike the star, a monologue friend is sincerely sure that you are also passionate about her. You are interested in everything connected with her – all her thoughts in detail, all the events of her day, all her knowledge, experience.

In response to any of your remarks, a monologue girlfriend begins “but I have …” or “and here I am” and then a lengthy story follows, what and how exactly. Opportunities to insert a phrase into which you do not have.

Also, a monologue friend does not notice either your yawns or the fact that her speech has been lasting for 40 minutes. Communication with such a person is possible only in one format – to listen. But how long can you listen to someone who does not hear you?

The girlfriend is mean

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If a drama friend arranges experiences, then a mean friend paints everything around with anger.

You constantly hear that either everyone is mad at her, or everyone pissed her off. And this anger girlfriend hurries to generously share with you.

And even if this anger is not directed at you personally, it is difficult to stay in contact with someone who is constantly angry – firstly, anger infects and energizes, after talking with an angry girlfriend, you can feel the fuse of football ultras in yourself, even if you are generally an exceptional person. peaceful. Secondly, anger is an uncontrollable stream that can easily change direction and fly at you if, in the opinion of a wicked friend, you are not listening actively enough or have inserted the wrong line.

In any relationship, including friendship, the give-and-take balance is important, and if someone suddenly does not want to communicate with you, then do not rush to classify him as nasty and insidious people.

Perhaps it’s just that you went over with the receipt? Try to remember your last communication with a friend, what was it about, how long did you talk, and how much was your friend?

If you talked more in time, then what happened to your friend – did she listen with interest, ask questions, ask to tell more, or sit yawning, periodically issuing interjections “uh-huh” and “yeah”?

Do you even ask your friend about how she is doing and how carefully you listen to the answers? Be attentive to other people, then they will answer you the same.

The opinion of the editors may not coincide with the opinion of the author of the article.