Sometimes I come across texts on the topic “How to fix, refresh or diversify relationships.” The advice in them touches with its “diversity” and “originality”. From time to time I come across men who have been “refreshed” with the help of these tips. Their faces are beautiful in their bewilderment, and the reviews… The reviews are also beautiful in their brevity of “oh, come on.” So let’s figure out what men like and don’t like, so that, trying to refresh something, not get rid of the man himself.

man and woman photoman and woman photo

1. Sticking romantic notes like “Darling, I love you” in the pockets, briefcase or glove compartment of the gentleman’s car

What do you expect from such an action? That the “darling” will drop everything and, like a young deer, rush home, not forgetting to buy an armful of flowers? Or what will call you and say “I love you too, dear”? Or will he throw some note into your purse, or rather a ring right away? How often do you check all pockets and the contents of your bag? In practice, it happens like this: you stuck a note in a large, dear briefcase. “Beloved” walks with him and walks, in that side pocket in which the note lies, do not look and do not look. Put something in it, shifted something. A day, two, a week, six months pass. And then, lo and behold, the “beloved” makes an audit of his suitcase and finds a note “I love you”, sits and “scratches his turnips”, and who loves him? In six months, you can change more than one girl, and he does not know how long this touching sign of love is stored in his portfolio. And he thinks, who loves him and what to do with it? Or even worse, you signed “I love you, your Masha”, six months have passed, you broke up, for some ridiculous reason, his new passion of Light looks into the portfolio of the “beloved”, and there … Hours of long and tedious showdowns on the topic “who is Masha? new couple provided.

2. The same romantic messages only under the plate of a romantic dinner or – worse – in the dinner itself. Or a completely disastrous option – instead of dinner.

Men are extremely simple, mundane creatures in terms of satisfying natural needs. Food is a natural need of the body. The man wants to eat. Yes, he wants to eat tasty. Some people want to eat tasty and beautiful. But the main thing in all this is that they want to EAT. Do not search, do not read, do not spit out a bitten off piece of paper, do not pump you out of the sight of a piece of love message taken out of your teeth, chewed a little and drooled over on a tablecloth. Just eat. You can still talk, laugh, even dance during a delicious and beautiful dinner. Have sex after. But you don’t have to write. You don’t need to hide. Have pity on the men.

Couple in love - photoCouple in love - photo

3. Experiments with appearance. I immediately remember Kisa Vorobyaninov in radical black

If in the morning a man left a cute long-haired blonde at home, then meeting him in the evening with an orange Mohawk and a nose ring without warning is fraught with at least fainting, at most running in the opposite direction from your door. The same applies to intimate appliqués with rhinestones and butterflies or a whole flower meadow, “puffed up” lips, boobs, piercings, tattoos.

It is better to warn a man in advance about any drastic changes in appearance. And about those that you are going to do for him, it’s generally better to ask directly whether you need it or not. So that it would not be excruciatingly painful and uselessly expensive

4. All meetings of a man in the evening at home in a negligee on a naked body. Or without a peignoir

We return to natural needs – a man came home from work in the evening. Tired, hungry, nervous, stood in a traffic jam, got screwed up at a meeting. What does this poor man want? That’s right – eat, relax, maybe a beer or 100 g to relax. Then, maybe, it will come to sex, also for relaxation. But only later. And here she is in a peignoir, full of love, longing and passion “take me, my Snow Leopard, take me right now.” Will he take it? Or will he say “get dressed, fool, let me eat”?

5. Somewhere I read a lovely advice to all women who are thirsty for refreshment “fix his favorite things”

Never do this, stay away from you, stay away from this misfortune. What seems broken to us may turn out to be whole and loved for a man. Or broken, but loved precisely in its brokenness. Or is it generally some kind of model that he brought and everything takes time to assemble the model slowly and with pleasure. And then she came and “fixed” everything. He will strangle you like Othello did to Desdemona, and he will be right.


Never clean out men’s toolboxes or men’s desks. Imagine that he comes and cleans your wardrobe. Or “fix” Gap’s trendy ripped jeans

6. A surprise holiday in his honor or a holiday without a reason is also not necessary

It only looks beautiful in a movie when a tired hero comes to an empty and dark house in the evening, he wants to relax, turns on the light, and then all 45 guests, led by his beloved, throw confetti at him and shout “Congratulations!”. In life, such surprises can only cause a heart attack and aggression.

7. Flirting with another man to make you jealous and shake things up is also a bad idea.

Once, a friend of mine flirted so much in a restaurant in front of her husband with another man that it all ended in a fight. And their feelings were refreshed almost to the point of divorce.

8. Say goodbye to each other and spend some time apart

Excellent advice, but only if it is agreed with a partner and filled with a little less pathos. You can just say, “I would like to devote this weekend to beauty treatments and a bachelorette party while you kayak with friends.” No need to write notes “I need to be alone and think about our relationship” or just silently disappear from the house with things.

It is good for any couple to spend some time away from each other. But it is important to understand that the relationship does not break off, does not end, is not paused.


9. Strip plastic courses followed by the performance of the number in the style of “9 ½” weeks at home are good only for slender and athletic girls.

If you are not very slender and not athletic and not quite a girl due to your age, take pity on yourself and your loved one. Somehow I happened to watch how a 80 kg young lady on 15 cm stilettos trained a somersault over her head in a sexy cat pose for such a home dance. It was a resounding spectacle, for 80 kg fell heavily to the floor. They climbed hard. But somehow they turned around. And also terrible. For 80 kg + platform and hairpin could fly into your nose and into your eye. I wanted to put on a helmet, put another mat under this “frolic” and generally turn away. And now a man is sitting at home, in a helmet, in a mask and with a first aid kit, and also with a telephone, all of a sudden, first aid is not enough, you will have to call “second”. And she dances and dances …. Eh. If everything ends well, then I personally would not want sultry sex, but drink 100 g to relieve stress.

10. It is dangerous to use love magic, feng shui or Tibetan shamans to strengthen relationships, male power and passion.

A man can be poisoned as much as possible with all sorts of crushed rat poop, and at least cause him to have diarrhea. You hardly need a man who is dead or forever sitting in the closet. So better cook him a good, juicy steak.

Don’t scare the men. They are much less intricately arranged natures than we women. Simplicity, clarity and minimalism are the main secrets of a successful relationship with a man. Not riddles, charades, surprises or nebulae.