“Your face at twenty is given to you by nature; what it will be like at fifty depends on you ”- I would paraphrase this statement by Coco Chanel as follows: at twenty your face is a gift from nature, at forty it looks the way you deserve.
And in order to deserve a worthy face, you need to learn how to pass by unnecessary things and unnecessary people. Allow yourself to say to yourself once and for all, “I’m too old to…
1. Use cheap perfumes and cheap cosmetics
Yes, good things are expensive, very expensive, sometimes prohibitive. But by the age of forty, a woman should be able to either earn money for one bottle of decent perfume herself, or have a man who will give them. Good cosmetics and perfumes are what allows a woman to look spectacular and well-groomed. But this can be saved at twenty and even thirty years old – the natural blush and smell of youth will block the lack of additional funds, but at forty years old without them you will just be a fading and not well-groomed woman.
2. Being insecure about your appearance
At 15, 20 and even 30 years old, we constantly doubt whether we look good enough – whether the breasts are too small, whether the legs are slender, whether the butt has sagged, whether cellulite has overcome us. We spend hours standing in front of the mirror in search of answers to these questions, we cannot go to the bakery without makeup and high heels, and we often pester men with the questions “Am I really beautiful?”. Of course, by the age of 40, even if your body was slim and beautiful, it meets with gray hair, wrinkles, cellulite, and being overweight. But if you continue to torment yourself and others in youth, you will be just an insecure and ungrown, withering woman. At 40, our intellect, education, life successes and life experience make us.
3. Not doing regular self-care
Manicure once a week, pedicure once every three to four weeks, beautician, massage, good haircut, regular coloring. Again, you will object “easy to say, but where to get the money? not everyone is rich, there are families, children, elderly parents.” But for me, everything in life rests on the desire or unwillingness to seek opportunities. You can do a manicure for 50 UAH, you can do it for 500 UAH, or you can do it at home yourself. The main thing is to “do”, to have a desire.
4. Be around a loser
At 20, this is possible, because at 20 there are no losers yet. We are all starting our journey towards social success, and it is still not clear who and how it will end. At 30, you can still give “second chances” to those who did not reach the goal in the first run. But at 40, a man who is next to you should have a favorite thing, a stable income, adequate self-esteem, knowledge of himself and his desires.
5. Not enjoying sex
At the age of 20, we still know little about ourselves and our body, we rush about a lot, look for ourselves, try different partners. From 20 to 35 we give birth to children, this changes both our body and our sensuality. Yes, and elementary care for a small child can dull both desires and affect the quality of sex. But by the age of 40, the body has been studied, experiments have been carried out, the children have grown up – we can enjoy sex, because we know what we want, who we want and we know how to get it.
6. Not having close and long-term girlfriends
Remember the famous four from “Sex and the City” or their Russian counterpart from “Balzac age or all men are their ..”? Yes, life brings us together and cuts off many different people from us. With some friends, we are destined to experience envy, rivalry, betrayal. Just to fill the treasury of life experience. With others, we grow up, get smarter, become mature. We experience weddings and divorces, crises of all ages, we raise children, we bury our parents. And if on your fortieth anniversary you don’t even have three faithful girlfriends, you have lived all these 40 years wrong. Over the next forty mistakes will need to be corrected.
7. Not knowing your worth
At 20, it’s normal not to know your worth, it’s still not in vain. We are raw material, a blank, a form from which a wonderful sculpture can come out, or maybe nothing. At the age of 30, we already know the intermediate price, but we are still uncertain about voicing it – to the boss, to the man, even to the seller in the store, who may first try to sell us illiquid assets. But at 40, we know exactly how much we cost and where we stand on the social ladder. If we don’t know, then we are losers who have not gone through the experience of growing up and freeing ourselves from the imposed frames, models and constant regard for the opinions of others.
8. Don’t waste time on yourself
Again, in 20-30 years, you can spend time on others – relationships with men, finding a husband, building a career, giving birth and raising children. This does not mean that by the age of 40 you need to abandon both your husband and children, and how Gauguin sail to Tahiti to paint. All this remains in a woman’s life, but at 40 you need to be able to organize space and people in such a way that there is time for yourself, your beloved. It doesn’t matter what you do – embroider with beads or walk in the park. You can afford whatever you like and not feel guilty about your loved ones not getting your time.
9. Feeling guilty about your past
We’ve all made mistakes – doing the wrong things, being with the wrong people, making the wrong decisions. But it is precisely this negative experience that has made us present. We do not have to make excuses for him, blame or apologize. Look back and say “thank you” to everything that made you who you are today.
10. Clinging to people or relationships
Got fired? By the age of 40, this is definitely not the first job in your life, if you have found several previous ones, then you will find another 25 next ones. Husband leaves by 25? Wish him good luck and strength to fulfill the high demands of a young woman. Yes, you already have wrinkles and not as firm skin as hers, but you have the wisdom and your life experience and this is a much more long-term asset. Is the young lover leaving too? The next one will be even younger. The last lover of Edith Piaf was 20 years younger than her.
Now I am 41 years old. I dye my hair because of the gray, almost never wear heels because of the inconvenience and monitor the diet because of the tendency to be overweight. But at 38 I did my first erotic photo shoot, and at 84 I’m going to make my first trip around the world. And I don’t want to go back to being 19 or even 35, I feel good at my age. Love yourself in yours.
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