A man loves, but does not marry. And why? After all, this happens much more often. You have a great relationship, and nothing seems to stand in the way, but you are not offered the coveted ring. Let’s take a look at the reasons.
Is a bachelor a diagnosis? Let’s try to understand the reasons why many men avoid relationships with obligations.
Why is a man afraid of marriage?
This “phobia” can have several causes.
1. “Caught and tortured.” A comrade who has a sad experience of intimacy (wife sawing, children squeaked), then avoids everything that looks like intimacy. A long experience of free flight can push towards a “safe haven”, but complicates its construction: it is more difficult to compromise with bachelor habits.
2. “I can’t find my only one.” Mr. fussy (most often thanks to a loving mom) has greatly inflated requests with regards to a girlfriend of life. She should climb the rocks without hesitation, but at the same time have an impeccable manicure. She should be smart, but she should not talk … And modern girls are not at all what he needs!
3. “A good deed will not be called a marriage.” He remembers well the squabbles of his parents: even then he decided that it was better without his wife, but in silence. And the story of his best friend! What a sea of u200bu200bhappiness these two showed at the wedding – and what scandals they later divorced! No, the family inevitably brings with it one headache …
Is the boy not mature?
It is in intimacy that men “reach readiness” faster. In long-term relationships, they sometimes “lag behind in development.” The girl, having made sure that several joint weekends were exciting, it’s good in bed with him, is already slowly starting to mentally arrange the furniture in the nursery.
And for her partner, all this is just a prelude. At the same time, he may sincerely not suspect that his beloved is able to suffer from his slowness. He just needs to get used to the fact that you are already a couple.
There is also such a characteristic setting: “Before I build a nest, first I need to get a Nobel (become a CEO, conquer the pole …)”. This is usually just a gimmick. Firstly, a high goal can only loom, not approaching at all, and secondly, after achieving it, it definitely becomes not up to marriage.
So if you are lucky enough to connect your dreams with a prince who, for some reason, is afraid of a serious relationship, do not scare him. But don’t overestimate!
How to persuade a man to marry
Suppose we are not ashamed to play the classic game of “he hides, she gets her way.” Is it possible to “re-educate an unmarried person”?
● The trap itself does not run after prey. He is in the right place, has the bait and the patience to wait. Do not expect frankness from the beloved immediately, and do not demand confessions at all.
● Let him be calm and comfortable with you. Then he will open the “soft belly.”
● Don’t rush to meet his mom. Let this happen at a stage when the risk that she will criticize you, and he will listen to her, will become significantly less.
● If he is striving with might and main towards a certain goal, show him that you are not an obstacle on the way to it, but, on the contrary, an assistant and comrade-in-arms.
● A man who survived a love fiasco acquires complexes. He is afraid that you will offend him and ridicule him too. Let him feel his importance. Highlight his merits. Ask for his advice.
● Do not tell those who have lost faith in the institution of marriage that families can also be happy. He won’t believe. Just often find reasons to communicate with harmonious and prosperous couples!
● If the decisive moment has already come for you, and he is still crumpled, directly offer him – just live together. as a rehearsal. Which does not threaten him with the division of property and other troubles. He should, after all, get a chance to see how great it is to be together.
If a shy deer, after a long treatment and from this harmless prospect, rears up – maybe you got him completely … defective?
Why don’t women want to get married?
However, it would be completely wrong to assume that intimophobia is a feature inherent only in the stronger sex. It’s just that the upbringing of girls has been programmed all their lives to prepare them for the inevitability of marriage.
But grown girls often become “themselves with a mustache.” So the case when he himself holds out a passport and talks about the child, and she brushes it off: “Yes, where should we hurry? How about a walk?” – not at all out of the ordinary. Perhaps emancipation will soon reach such a level that after some time articles will begin to appear in men’s magazines on the topic: “Why women do not want to get married – and how to cheat them?”
Editor’s advice. There are such “free birds” that ringing is just wasting time and nerves. These include, in particular, “Casanova” – who is used to the fact that a flock of girls always winds around him.
He declares a love for diversity and a dislike for problems. Any partner who is able to ask where he disappeared last night causes him an acute allergy. It is pointless to re-educate this person. In addition, Casanovas are more often attached to inaccessible ones.
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