Recently, on one of the forums, I entered into a discussion about whether it is necessary to achieve a man who has rejected or is not interested in you.
Most of the participants confidently stated “yes, of course”, different arguments were given – from “it’s impossible to stop loving a handsome, funny, smart, sexy man on the sole basis that he doesn’t love you, because he is so handsome, smart, funny, blah blah- blah, an enviable male, so you need to fight” to “a woman cannot help but attract the attention of a man she likes. The initial signals of disinterest can be ignored, especially if you realize that this is the love of your life. So, you need to change something in yourself to please him, from hairstyles to breast size and go forward, further, confidently, cheerfully, until the prey falls at your feet, and it will definitely fall, because we are women, we are purposeful. I was pelted with rotten virtual tomatoes in response to “why fight? I can express my interest, a man will either pick it up or not. And if not, then alas and ah, I will go further, because “I do not need someone who does not need me.”
There is such an old film “I can’t say goodbye”, where the heroine confidently fights for the main character – a handsome man, an athlete, a production leader. Struggles, despite his confident no, marrying a blonde beauty and even an injury resulting in a wheelchair. Thanks to this injury, she gets it, semi-paralyzed, when the blond beauty does not have the strength to care and endure drunken tantrums. Well, then it’s a matter of technology – perseverance, perseverance and once again perseverance, multiplied by washing, washing, feeding, wearing a duck, motivating to life. “Seryozhenka, you are the best, you can” – Serezhenka finally gives up and marries. Still would. After all, in a remote village where the main events take place, one of the brides is one woman Manya, with a widow woman Katya. The romantics of the early 80s wiped away a touching tear “like a lyuboff”, in general, selfless deeds were in fashion in the name of fulfilling the production plan, conquering nature, supporting a comrade. How can one not perform a feat for the sake of love?
But the cynics of the postmodern generation will say, “the girl was, after all, so-so, average, with a boy’s haircut, boyish manners and even a man’s profession – a KAMAZ driver. And so with self-esteem, not ah, and with self-presentation, and then choose an object that is definitely not available. Arrange a fight not for life, but for death – after all, if it had not been achieved, this would be the collapse of the remnants of self-worth and life in old maids.
40 years have passed since the release of this beautiful legend on the screens, it would seem that an era has sunk into oblivion in which a woman had no other value than a ring on her finger and a marriage certificate, but women do not want to change. They want to find a man and fight for him for a long time, so that later, wiping the sweat from his forehead, licking the blood from his broken lip and collecting the tufts torn out by his rival, proudly stretch his hand up and shout “HE IS MINE”.
One of my friends has been fighting for a man for 8 years: first with his wife, now with another mistress. When she talks about how much effort and money she spends on surveillance – yes, she hired a private detective to find out with whom the object of her passion, intrigue, showdown with her wife, with a man is cheating on her and her wife, with a man, upgrading herself so that he likes it better – I never cease to be amazed. After all, with this energy, these forces, you can travel the world, build a business, learn a couple of foreign languages and even save a whole flock of crested penguins.
But what penguins, a friend is fighting for a sad, now 52-year-old penis. And maybe she will win, or rather outlive her wife and second mistress, and by the age of 75 she will choose this even more saddened prize. Or maybe the three of them will stand at the coffin – the wife, she and the second mistress. How to know.
But I think about what needs to change so that women feel their self-worth. Being self-worthy and self-sufficient is not about loneliness. This is about fullness and that in any circumstances and in any environment you always have you. When lovers leave, husbands leave, children grow up, even your old cat will say “it’s time for me to go to cat heaven” there will always be one person with you – this is yourself.
But what about men? They, like money, circulate – some leave, others come. And if there is no one in your life now, it means that there is no man in your life. But you have yourself. And how to fight for someone who definitely doesn’t need you (and I believe in male independence and that even the most timid man is able to make it clear to a woman that she likes it) – so, if a man does not react to you in any way, this means only two things: he is either dead or he is not interested in you, you better go save the crested penguins.
Maybe there you will meet someone who will say “let’s do it together.”
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