In the 90s of the last century, with the light hand of Lady Dee, the term “revenge dress” came into use.
It was then, in 1994, that she appeared at a Vanity Fair magazine party in a beautiful and very bold outfit. And became the star of the evening. But not only because of the dress. And not because she is Lady Dee. The day before, her husband Prince Charles publicly confessed to infidelity. There were already rumors about his infidelity, the couple did not live together, but it was apparently beyond their strength to say everything to his wife tête-à-tête and quietly and beautifully part for the prince. He chose the most humiliating way of coming out – to give an interview to one of the TV channels. So the world learned that branched and long horns grow on Diana’s beautiful head and held its breath, but what will the deceived wife say. The wife went out into the world in silence, but in a dress that everyone was talking about. Since then, the “dress of revenge” has become a household name for anyone who wants to look stunning and thereby take revenge on the traitor.
But in the post-millennium, the world has moved on in a variety of ways to get revenge. One outfit was not enough. To create a new face and body for oneself to spite the enemies and especially to spite the partner who left – this is a hobby that is rapidly gaining momentum. Pioneers here, as always, were the Kardashian sisters. More precisely, one of them is Chloe. No, they did not come up with this method. The first piece of advice that abandoned women of all time and all countries hear is “take care of yourself,” but it was Khloe Kardashian who made a business out of it – she launched a reality show. Revenge Body with Khloé Kardashian.
As if full by nature, Chloe just took it and decided to bring her weight back to normal and now helps everyone with this. However, the creation of the show has its own backstory. Yes, Chloe is really inclined to be overweight, like all sisters, but she lived with her body and did not grieve, built a career and family, while her husband, basketball player Lamar Odom, built her weighty horns. All tabloids wrote about drinking and adventures of Lamar with enviable regularity. Being constantly deceived by his wife and coming up with beautiful excuses for the ugly antics of her husband, Chloe was tired and she filed for divorce. Along with this, she went to the gym and dropped 18 kg in a few months. Own example and inspired her to create the show.
Not so massively, but still actively, other figures also joined in the revenge with the body. There are about 50 thousand hashtags in the English-language Instagram and Twitter #revangebody. Both famous women and ordinary housewives post photos of their impressive results every day – how many kilometers they ran, how much weight they lifted, how much weight it took and how they have changed. Photos of sports results are periodically accompanied by caustic comments “Look how I look now”, “You don’t deserve me now”, “You said that I am a fat cow, where do you see fat?”. The deceived men also joined the race for revenge. No-and-no among the built female pops and bellies, the male torso “Before” and “After” flickers. The motive from the opposite works better than the motive in favor – it would be good to take care of yourself, regardless of the relationship.
Of course, going in for sports and your appearance after a painful breakup is in every way more useful than crying, drinking, seizing resentment with burger pies, then crying, drinking and seizing again. But, as a psychologist, I see no less auto-aggression and fears in grueling workouts than in passive overeating. Otherwise, what prevented all these people from being in shape before they were thrown? Is this a bad way to deal with a breakup? No, it is not bad and even useful to many, but will it really help to change? Hardly. Indeed, behind all these pumped-up priests, abs and smoothed faces, there is the same woman and man who were hurt and the feeling of pain will not disappear along with the extra kilos.
I remember how my mother lost weight dramatically after my father was caught with his mistress in a public place. Adultery was publicly revealed, and shame was added to the pain of the deceived woman. All relatives spoke about treason and the horns took a firm place on my mother’s head. Mom lost weight, bought herself new clothes, and she entered the courtroom on her divorce as a queen. Dad was supposed to bite his elbows out of regret about what kind of woman he had abandoned. But dad was in a hurry to go to his mistress, who was already pregnant from him, and he perceived mom only as an annoying hindrance to his new happiness. The revenge did not take place. For a while, my mother was still beautiful, but soon she became silly, and then she completely lost interest and taste for life.
The beauty of the body and face does not help if only the shell is changed. Painful parting should be lived not only in the gym, but also in the office of a psychologist. To let go of pain, to express anger, to accept shame, to understand why it suddenly became important for us to be beautiful and healthy for a partner, and not for ourselves, to find new guidelines in life. Revenge is not needed in order to prick an ex-partner. You need revenge today to show how far you are from yourself, yesterday. And the body… it is just a shell and it is not to blame for the failures of life.
Love and take care of your body always, and not just when you have been abandoned.
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