After your first meeting and a long conversation, you go home with thoughts that swarm in your head and do not allow you to concentrate on yourself. It’s scary and inspiring at the same time, because it’s just the beginning. But will there be a sequel? How to behave if you fell for a guy so quickly?
It is completely understandable why this happened: you are surrounded by a sea of men, there is no shortage of communication and courtship, but none of them really interests you. Moreover, they are already annoying you in a crowd and the hope of meeting someone who will really captivate is running out. Therefore, if you finally met a cool guy, and your communication was insanely pleasant, the tower could be torn down thoroughly.
But even if you are overwhelmed with positive emotions, and not those that are usual, you cannot completely surrender to them.
If you are a romantic nature, and you think that it is possible and necessary, then let’s imagine the situation metaphorically.
You are a vessel (you can imagine yourself as an elegant clay or crystal, in the end, this is your fantasy, why not flatter yourself), feelings are wine. When there is too much wine, the vessel becomes wet and sticky (as in two ways), the wine gushing over the edge.
Do you want to be attractive and desirable, a luxurious vessel with a sufficient amount of wine, and not an unbridled leaky one? The essence of the metaphor is displayed here both in a romantic and pragmatic interpretation, and a little grotesque, at times, is only good.
Moreover, when we are carried by emotions, we do not notice anything, sensitivity to reality and people around decreases. You’re just trying not to explode, and the rest of the features suffer. Thus, you can make a bunch of mistakes that will repel your handsome man.
Therefore, naivety away, you need to reason logically, and your brain will still come in handy.
Surely, already in this significant first meeting, you made many mistakes and now, positive emotions are valiantly fighting fears, exhausting you. Emotions about the past are a waste of your own energy, time and your potential with it. You can’t beat yourself up. But to figure out what exactly strained you is necessary.
Take some time for yourself and think about the last evening / night / day when you spent time together. Calm down and concentrate on yourself, in addition to feelings, the mind should also appear. Remember where you think you made mistakes. We will look at the most common mistakes so that you understand the principle of action and can expand your situation in the same way.
You told him too much about yourself
When a woman meets a man she thinks she can trust, vigilance is replaced by excessive relaxation and lack of control over what you say.
Any communication should be built consciously so as not to bring negative consequences, but preferably only positive ones. You must think in advance what this or that information will give him. You will share some positive experience and become closer, or he will learn about your injuries, forms of behavior in unpleasant situations, or other manifestations that will not necessarily be repeated, but he will already pass you through the prism of this knowledge about you.
Therefore, it does not matter that he looks at you with burning eyes and listens to every word, understands and accepts, agrees and is carried away. In the future, if you have it, you will be able to reveal these sides to him, because he will already understand what you are and will not be afraid. But now it’s redundant.
The impulse to explain
If you have already understood how much unnecessary information you passed on to him, or how many mistakes you made, don’t even think about writing to him about it. Even if he himself drew your attention to some mistakes, and you want to share with him that you understand and agree, you should not do this. He has already forgotten about it, if he is not paranoid (in which case, you do not need him, and it is better to end him as soon as possible).
When people are just starting to communicate, they are able to cover with their desire to continue, some roughness. But making excuses and reporting are two vile twin brothers of lack of self-respect and dependence.
Well, you were wrong, but he likes you, and some little things will not be able to unbalance you.
Return to yourself
When a man likes you wildly, and you are ignited by your connection, all your attention is riveted to him. You constantly remember your acquaintance, the first date, think about how good he is and how you want to see him again as soon as possible. You can even imagine it, think about what you will wear and where you will go.
But, as the heroine of one series said:
As long as one foot is in the past and the other is in the future, you can shit right on the present.
Women are more prone to forget about everything because of men, while men, if they are normal, will be happy for a couple of minutes after the meeting, and then they will go to do their business until the next free evening, to which you can be called.
So come back to yourself and your life. Yes, you were good together, perhaps this will continue, but until this happens – do your own thing and do what you want.
It’s difficult, because you want him, but you must be independent and be able to give yourself no less pleasure than he does. Don’t get stuck, if you want sex – do it, if you want fun – go to a party, plan your leisure time as if it is not in your life yet. After all, this is true, so far nothing binds you, except for pleasant communication.
Turn off standby
If you wait for him to call, write, or somehow show up, stop. Stop it, just because he may not do it, or he may not do it right away, but when we wait, we have a claim. People hate to feel her for themselves, even subconsciously, because you risk that he will never call at all.
He is an absolutely free person who does not owe you anything. If you mind your own business, you won’t have time to wait for him. And if you want to know how he is doing, you can write yourself. Only, again, without prejudice and with complete honesty with yourself. Do not write to him “how are you” if you expect him to call you somewhere after that. If you want to call – call, if you want to ask – ask, only for yourself, regardless of him and his further actions.
Don’t rush, scan the data
Of course, if you are talking heart to heart, excitedly, his blue eyes are filled with joy and admiration, and you feel so excited that you are ready to lick his teeth (and this happens), stop. This is all wonderful, but in screening out your mistakes and total excitement, you can idealize him and not notice his shortcomings.
Of course, looking for other people’s mistakes may seem cynical and low, but it is not. Remember all those cases when you deified a man, and he turned out to be … not like that. You can’t repeat your mistakes, and they are not only in your behavior, but also in the choice of men. What if, having surrendered so quickly to the feeling, and to this man in particular, you again fall into the trap? You can’t immediately trust people, you need to at least watch him a little. Even if you really want to believe in a fairy tale.
Be vigilant, remember yourself, mind your own business, do not expect anything from him and do not regret anything, do not rush, we can make such a brief summary together to harmoniously build communication with a new lover.
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