If you survived the crisis for 25 years, then by the age of 30 a new one is on the way. Probably, all crises – 30, 35 and 40 years – I would call a midlife crisis. However, the problems we face in them are slightly different.
In a career, 30 years confront us with an understanding of whether our ambitions match our capabilities. Those who do, by the age of 30, already have a good position or a small but dynamic business. Those who do not have, still sit in the positions of “junior specialists”. Of course, it’s hard to realize that you haven’t progressed anywhere. But instead of going into anger and envy, you can do some work on the mistakes. After all, it’s never too late to move forward. For example, compare yourself with the one with whom you came to work together and who overtook you on the corporate ladder – what qualities does he have, what did he do to move up? The especially brave ones can ask for “feedback” from the management: “Why don’t you raise me?” Yes, the answer will not please, but it is in the reviews of other people that we can see our difficulties, our weaknesses. Because we are hardly objective to ourselves at the age of 30.
Difficult career-related moments can await those women who did not work long at 22, quickly got married, and went on maternity leave. At the age of 30, they go back to work and understand that their peers are already far ahead, and you, along with 22-year-olds, need to prove your right not only to move up, but also to take your current position. Only you are already 30 years old, and they are 22. And the work itself has changed in those 5-8 years when you were out of work. Again, you can go into anger and hatred for those who are younger and who bypassed us at the turn. Or in a new decree, in order to hide from the frightening reality in this way. And you can say: “Yes, I am 30 years old, and I have already taken place as a wife and mother, and now I want to take place in the profession, so I start over. But it’s already easier for me, I’ve gone part of the way, I already have a family and a child, and those who are 22 still have to face all the difficulties of choosing how to combine motherhood and profession.”
Is it time to get married?
Women who are already 30, but who have not yet married, begin to feel not only pressure, they feel total pressure from others. He is in sympathetic looks, and in caring questions, and in a worried shake of his head, and even in the fact that at 30 you find that everyone wants to introduce you to someone. Even in the queue to pay for a communal apartment, some unfamiliar neighbor begins to offer you a groom, “a very good man, only he is 55, he is divorced and lives with his mother.” And the woman is torn between her completely normal desire to be in a pair, but not wanting to be paired with just anyone, anger at the fact that everyone around her is climbing into her personal life, thoughts: “Maybe something is wrong with me?” – and dates. With men from dating sites, with most of which there really is something wrong. But with the reverence with which our society unconditionally treats men, a woman is much more accustomed to convincing herself that she is flawed.
Connections with married people
Therefore, 30 years is the most “dangerous” age for a woman to get involved in a relationship with a married man. Free freaks, idiots and losers from the Internet are disappointing, and married people look almost perfect in their background, except for one drawback – being married. What can I say – everyone has their own path and their own set of mistakes. However, if you have not yet entered into this relationship, but are already thinking, stop. At first it will be good, fun, pleasant, there will be something to answer to others – after all, you already have a relationship and maybe there is even a chance in them that the man will leave the family, then you will find yourself in the kings. But believe me, two, three, five years will pass, and you will understand that everything suits a man. He receives love, care, affection from two women at once. And they both endlessly amuse his ego. And what will be left for you? Disappointment that you did not win the race for the best wife, you remained unmarried, also with a foul-smelling “mistress” train.
Sex is different
Fractures in women also occur in the sexual sphere. By the age of 30 comes the understanding that sex is pleasure. Moreover, pleasure for everyone, and not just for men. And then there is acceptance of your body. Until the age of 30, there are a lot of complexes on the topic of the body and sex. It seems that a man can only want an ideal body, without wrinkles, fat and the worst nightmare of all women – cellulite. Such bodies can boast of 5% of the female population of the Earth. All the rest hide their bodies, do not like them and mock them in every possible way. However, by the age of 30, having already had sexual experience with different partners, women begin to understand that, firstly, men’s bodies are also not ideal, and secondly, men do not expect this very ideality from women. Good sex is made by passion, trust and emancipation. Therefore, after 30 years, women begin to have sex for themselves. They stop showing orgasms, they want to experience them. And in this zone, the danger may lie in wait for established couples who have been living together for 5-10 years, she is just beginning to discover her sexuality, and he is already used to having sex for 10 years and thinks that everything is in order. It is important here not to immediately frighten the partner with new experiments or messages like: “I have never experienced an orgasm with you, and now I want to experience what it is” – or not give up on him and run away to look for a new one. Over a long period of time together, a couple should develop trust that allows you to talk about everything, including changed expectations from sex. Introduce changes smoothly. The orchestra, in order to play a concert, rehearses together for a long time so that the melodies sound as one. Changes in a pair of partners cannot occur synchronously. Usually one person begins to change, and the second pulls up, or the couple diverges. Give your couple a chance to rehearse first.
30 years is the age when the first peaks of life have already been taken. There is education, work experience, first career successes, relationship experience, many have children. It’s time to sum up the first results, work on the mistakes and look around, choosing which peaks you still want to conquer.