“All men are afraid of marriage like fire!” You sigh in the company of your friends. And they nod sadly: according to statistics, 75% of men living in a civil marriage do not want to marry officially. How to make the man you love marry you? Read our article.
You dream of a white dress, a ring and a coveted stamp in your passport, and your loved one is horrified at the mere thought of a wedding … Why? According to psychologists, there are 6 types of “puppet haters” – this is bad news. But there is a good one: as the same psychologists say, you can find an approach to each of them. Where to start “hilling” a loved one?
To encourage the chosen one to make an offer, determine his psychological type. This will help to develop an appropriate approach to a loved one – to create something like a computer program that directs a person to marriage. Sounds a little weird, but it actually works great! Try, if you definitely decided that he is your destiny.
Type #1. A rebel
Rebels are loud and quiet. Loud Rebel extroverts declare their position of haters of “marital fetters” to everyone and everyone. Quiet Rebel introverts simply “merge” into their “mink” to their beloved cat as soon as they begin to suspect you have matrimonial plans for themselves. Rebels generally don’t like to live up to anyone’s expectations. They will never meet you halfway in matters of marriage if they see that you are very interested in them.
What if you give? Oh, then he will definitely rebel and may even break off the relationship! How to move the Rebel to marriage? The rebel is driven by an innate sense of contradiction. If you want to get your way from him, try to play in contrast: “Your friend Denis arranged such a gorgeous wedding for his beloved, you would hardly have succeeded. And how great he looked in a tuxedo! Where are you before him in your old jeans … ”Yes, the Rebel will break into a cake, but he will not allow himself to be surpassed! So your wedding will definitely be one hundred percent!
Type #2. Uncertain
Such men rarely have their own personal opinion. More often, men who are insecure about everything evaluate themselves and the world through the eyes of reference (authoritative) people for him: friends, parents, boss, psychologist …
Persuade or…? It is useful for such a young man to provide statistics on how well married life reflects on health, as well as evidence that a caring wife stood behind every great man. Refer to his mother (“I think she would like you to start a family”), to the boss who does not take unmarried employees seriously and does not promote them. These arguments should work!
Type #3. Narcissus
This is the exact opposite of Uncertain. The narcissist loves only himself and his comfort. In order to want to marry, such a man must understand exactly how the legal status of a husband will be beneficial to him.
To push Narcissus into marriage, end any conversation about marriage with the words “It will be better for you” and immediately explain in detail what exactly is beneficial. The narcissist must understand that he will receive regular sex, constant self-admiration, freshly ironed shirts every morning and a full diet only in exchange for your cherished status as a wife. Marrying him is not as difficult as it seems. It is much more difficult to live in this marriage …
Type #4. Razgildiai
People of this type do not care at all. But, as a rule, they are kind and not ready to hurt loved ones. Therefore, the dear Slacker needs to be shown that his marriage will make everyone happy: “Imagine how happy your parents will be – they have long dreamed of grandchildren! And with what pleasure friends will walk at our wedding!
Type number 5. Pedant
The pedant needs a step-by-step algorithm of the whole process: where do we apply, when do we buy a wedding suit, what restaurant do we rent, where will we live when we have a baby … He must evaluate the complexity of the algorithm and the associated costs before deciding on something.
In order for Pedant to decide to marry you, you must not only provide him with a business plan for your marriage, but also successfully defend him! The more specific dates and numbers are given, the more enthusiasm your meticulousness will cause. If you take over everything, he is unlikely to oppose marriage. And it’s not bad if the whole event is not too expensive: Pedant tends to save money.
Type number 6. Careful
“The most important thing is not to lose anything” – this is the life motto of Cautious. He doesn’t care about the prospects of marriage, the main thing is to save what he already has. Oddly enough, it can be affected by demonstrating your financial independence.
Let him know that you love him, but since you are not his wife, you do not owe him anything. So, you can freely meet with other men, choosing your future husband. And by the way, a queue is already lining up for such an enviable bride!
The bride before the wedding does not change!
So, your chosen one is ready for marriage. Now it is important that you remain the main character of this happy event. Do not be surprised: statistics show that 27% of men who are ripe for marriage do not marry time-tested girlfriends, but completely different girls. What should I do to make sure everything goes according to plan?
Reinforce in his mind the idea that you are irreplaceable. This does not mean at all that you need to take care of the housework, like a hardworking bee. The task is more difficult: you must become a kindred spirit for him. It does not matter if he dedicates you to the details of his business, the main thing is that he feels that he is valued, supported and understood at home.
Show him the difference between life with you and without you. A great solution is to go to your relatives for a month (they need help). He should get bored, start calling and calling home. Here you can connect your mother (sister, girlfriend), who will delicately hint how comfortable you are with her and that he is “not a husband after all.” But you need to say it with humor – no pressure!
Include melodramas and good comedies about a happy married life in your home cinema repertoire. Don’t forget about films where the hero, who at first did not want to marry, begins to strive for marriage with his beloved. Don’t be surprised, it really helps.
If he is very attached to his mother, try to make friends with her. She must be good enough! Turn on the charm – and then you can find a significant ally in her face.
Don’t show your dependence on him. Take a career leap, learn another language, go in for sports. Such women are more valued, they are afraid of losing them.
Let him feel a pang of jealousy. Only without extremes – it’s just about flirting with another man. So to speak, to “raise the quotes of personal shares.”
The last advice, as they say, is “extreme”. It can work 100%, although the effect is unpredictable. Say it directly and honestly: “Either to the registry office, or not at all!” If he loves, he will marry!