And why are smart, beautiful and perfect in everything sometimes choose Valerka from the district as their boyfriends?
How often have you heard about your boyfriend “He is not a match for you”? Have you noticed that a cool friend starts dating an unworthy gentleman? In fact, girls very often choose the “wrong” guys.
Why do we choose the wrong men
There can be many reasons why the ideal daughter of her mother’s friend chose the drunkard and womanizer Valerka from the district as her husband. Of course, there is a factor of love, when people found each other and they feel good together, no one denies this. But if you notice that you are always dating the “wrong” men, you should think about it.
Toxic reasons for this choice:
- Charm and charisma. You should not blindly trust the charms of a charming man, but focusing on his actions and words is a must. A guy who drinks Pivchansky with the boys in the evenings and spits seeds directly on the pavement can be charming and charming, but meeting such a gentleman is somehow not very good.
- You are looking for guys in the wrong place. Continuing the theme of Pivcha and seeds: you can not find an esthete and Prince Charming on a bench with a bunch of gopniks nearby. Similarly, it is useless to look for a serious relationship on Tinder. We all know why they hang out there.
- Do you think you can change it. Every good girl wants to change a bad boy. No, honey, that’s not how relationships work and people don’t change. You either accept shortcomings, or run away into the sunset from your gentleman, losing your slippers.
- You’re ignoring the warning bells and toxicity. You always try to be nice, forgiving. And from childhood, girls are taught: be kind, you can’t be offended, you need to accept those around you with flaws. And then women and girls grow up who tolerate toxic jerks and abusers, nasty behavior and neglect, and all because they don’t want to seem like a bitch and a saw.
- You have low self-esteem. “And who needs me like that?”, you often ask yourself and agree to what is. Darling, you did not find yourself in the garbage heap! If all sausages in the store are expired, you go to another store where the sausage is fresher, and you don’t take what they give? Then why is there such self-abasement with men? Believe me, you deserve more than your self-esteem says. And you got the best if you let yourself take it.
Well, if you already have a boyfriend, but you are thinking that something is wrong with your relationship, read the list of signs that he is not a couple for you, but you deserve better.
Signs that he is not the right guy for you
We turn on the “I didn’t find myself in the garbage dump” mode and begin to evaluate the partner as strictly as if he were on an exam:
- It’s worse with him than without him. Even if he acts like a normal, caring guy.
- It seems to you that he does not love in return. If this is at the beginning of a relationship, relax, but if you’ve been dating for a year, and it seems to you that he doesn’t love you, it’s time to run away.
- He doesn’t respect your boundaries. Forcing hugs, kissing when you don’t want to – this is a violation of personal boundaries, and you should not tolerate it when you don’t want to. But if a guy forces you to have sex, this is rape and a criminal case. Do not tolerate violence in your direction!
- He never listens to you, passes your words on deaf ears and is not interested in talking with you.
- He does not support you or mocks your goals and desires.
- He is a delicate flower, and you are a plantation slave. If your relationship is a one-sided game, you should consider whether they are needed at all.
- He doesn’t like your friends and family.
- He doesn’t like your friends and family.
- He does not introduce you to his friends, he hides you from them.
- He flirts with others, even in front of you.
- He changed. Or changes.
- He demands all your attention does not allow you to restore resources alone with yourself or communicate with others.
- He is jealous and doesn’t trust you.
- You always feel guilty in relationships, it seems that you always ruin everything.
- He always blames you for everything, and if he himself is wrong, he will never apologize.
- He threatens to break off relations, emphasizes that no one will need you except him.
- He doesn’t care about your interests, moreover, he gets mad when you talk about them / pay attention to them.
- You have nothing to talk about. Here at all. Even the cereal and the sour milk in the fridge.
- He thinks you’re over-dramatizing and exaggerating problems.
- You are ashamed to go out with him in public, because he does not know how to behave or dishonors you.
If you notice such a guy next to you and in the role of your boyfriend – run away, losing your slippers, because you didn’t find yourself in the garbage heap!