Psychologists have long noticed: women like married men more than bachelors. Why is this happening and what to do in order not to fall into the trap of a hopeless relationship?
Scientists from Oklahoma State University (USA) conducted a study, the result of which surprised everyone: it turned out that single women like married men more than bachelors.
The study involved 100 single and married women who were shown photographs of men. The photo had marks indicating whether the man was married or single. The women had to say which men they were attracted to and which ones they would have a relationship with.
It was found that married men attract single women 4 times more than single women. Married women liked free men much less, it seems that the bonds of marriage for women are of great importance.
Psychologists explain this fact by the fact that one of the reasons that married men attract free women is that such men already know how to take on obligations and responsibilities.
“Implicitly, women think that a man’s commitment to family values has already been revealed by another woman, which means that this is a partner suitable for a serious relationship,” psychologists emphasize.
In addition, there are several psychological syndromes that cause women to be attracted to married men. Psychologists have described each of them in detail and made a prediction about the future of such relationships.
1. Caring Dad Syndrome
We women remain little girls in our hearts until old age. And the image of the father – caring, guarding and protecting – is kept in our hearts by each of us. For some, this is a real dad, for someone – an ideal image.
As a rule, girls who did not receive enough love and approval from their father in childhood, in adulthood seek to “get” these emotions from their partner. Such girls are attracted to mature men, who are often already connected by family ties. This is how the classic relationship “student-teacher” or “secretary-boss” arises.
What is the prospect of such a relationship? As a rule, favorable: men in their years often feel nostalgic for the “good old days” of their youth and try to return them, changing the old girlfriend of life, who perfectly sees all his shortcomings, to a young and naively admiring one.
However, a young lady in love needs to carefully look at her chosen one: a man should feel a thirst for change, he should be full of energy and desire to “shake the old days”. Often, in adulthood, the fuse is enough only for a short-term affair, and then the man returns to his usual family nest …
2. Syndrome “the good ones have already been sorted out”
Admit it, have you ever said that yourself? It is customary for us to “stalk” promising suitors as early as possible.
As the famous actress and TV presenter Larisa Guzeeva said, “Good men are taken apart as puppies.”
From here, the conclusion seems to suggest itself: if you want to get a good man, look for an already “tested” one, grab it and beat it off!
What is the prospect of such a relationship? As a rule, nothing good comes out of this. In addition to the ugly “woman’s” showdowns with his wife and petty revenge on the cowardly lover. Men understand with some sixth sense that they are being beaten off not at all because of unearthly love, but out of self-interest, and they quickly reverse.
3.Syndrome “fatal woman”
Do not feed many women with bread – let them experience burning passions! And what could be more exciting than forbidden love – these secret meetings, tears and reconciliations, swings of emotions and fireworks of experiences! And all this half-spy romance – dates in other people’s apartments, encrypted sms, furtive kisses, because eyes and ears are everywhere – only enhances the drama of the situation.
In addition, the status of a “femme fatale”, especially if the romance ended with the withdrawal of a man from the family by a homeowner, has a certain romantic charm. Such a woman is envied, she is discussed, she is reputed to be the conqueror of men’s hearts. If the “femme fatale” syndrome is aggravated by low self-esteem, the woman turns into a serial homemaker: she simply enjoys the fact that she can break up other people’s families …
What are the prospects for such a relationship? Most “fatal women” do not subconsciously strive for marriage: well, these passionate natures are not created for cooking borscht and changing diapers! Therefore, novels can drag on for years, exhausting and simultaneously nourishing both partners energetically.
4. Syndrome “prince and beggar”
Some single women, having experienced financial hardships and not being able to establish their own careers, come to the conclusion: “It’s better to eat a delicious pie together than to sip watery soup alone.” That is, they initially prefer to become the mistress of a wealthy man than to build a family with a poor student.
A rare married lover does not feel remorse because of his forbidden pleasures and does not try to somehow console each of the “victims”. As a rule, these mental torments work wonders with men, turning even the most inveterate miser almost into an Arab sheikh. After all, it is so easy to drown out an unpleasantly itchy feeling of guilt by giving the woman you love instead of the statue of your lawful wife something nice and a lot of carats …
What is the prospect of such a relationship? Strong and calm: no one claims anything, and the man supports two families.
5. The “beautiful picture” syndrome
As a rule, in communicating with a married man, women pay attention to his impressiveness and external attractiveness (the wife picks up his wardrobe, irons his shirts, reminds him that it’s time to cut his hair, etc.), grooming and healthy appearance (the wife of the man feeds homemade food, he you don’t have to make do with semi-finished products), solidity and self-confidence (his wife praises him in every possible way and raises his self-esteem).
That is, in fact, a woman simply “sticks” to a beautiful picture, falls in love with an image created by the forces of another woman! She does not see the underside of this “picture”, nor how much work it took her wife to create the “picture” itself.
What are the prospects for such a relationship? As a rule, falling in love with the “picture” leads to quick disappointment, and the romance ends to the mutual displeasure of the parties.
How to be, if in spite of everything, you see off with an envious glance a charming family – dad, mom and a lovely baby for a walk in the park? You really want to get this tall, smiling man – undoubtedly an excellent lover, an excellent earner and a caring father … It is difficult to give unequivocal advice. Although folk wisdom says “You can’t build happiness on someone else’s misfortune,” about 30% of romances with married people end in a wedding. But think about this experiment of Belarusian psychologists.
Minsk psychologists offered 10 single women to live in a “pseudo-marriage” (without sexual relations) with 10 bachelors who chose these women according to questionnaires. During this time, “wives” were instructed to take care of their “husbands”, surround them with care and attention, communicate affectionately, listen with pleasure, feed homemade sweets, take care of the wardrobe and unobtrusively give advice on how to behave in a given situation. Initially, women were not enthusiastic about the proposed partners: they seemed to them to be sluts, careless, unattractive, unable to communicate and care. After 3 months of the experiment, 10 pairs were collected in a restaurant. All the men have changed dramatically! And another amazing fact: every woman was delighted with all men, except … her companion!
Perhaps it is still worth taking a closer look at those free men who surround you? Small “investments” of participation, warmth and female care sometimes work wonders – see for yourself!
But what if you still feel that your relationship with a married man is unpromising and you want to end it? Psychologist’s advice will help you survive parting with less emotional loss:
Author: Women’s magazine “Liza”