“We have no secrets from each other!” Many couples brag. And … most likely, they are lying. Yes, on serious issues, the truth in marriage is important, but some moments are better not to be voiced by your beloved. What secrets will strengthen your marriage?
Psychologists offer to answer the question: “Imagine that your whole life, from the beginning to this moment, was filmed on videotape. Are you willing to show it to your loved one? The answer depends on what we mean by frankness. According to American psychologists, couples where partners hide information from each other that can hurt their soulmate are stronger, happier and easier to withstand life’s trials. So, what does your husband not need to know at all?
But first listen to our Bedtime Stories podcast. You like romantic stories and love stories, don’t you? So you will like it!
He’s not the best lover
Yes, you had such sex adventures that it took your breath away! So what? It so happened that testosterone machos are rarely good husbands and fathers. And women are well aware of this, choosing not “sexual terrorists” as their life partners, but simply good decent guys. That’s what you did, right?
- You never need to remember your ex-boyfriends in front of your husband, especially talking about them with admiration.
- You should never tell your husband that the ex-boyfriend was more caring or considerate.
If a woman compares her man with her ex, it will instill in a man insecurity in himself and your relationship. He will get angry and out of spite will not do what his wife wants, if only not to become like her former ones. And good sex can be achieved if, of course, both are striving for it.
Your family doesn’t like him
And dad generally considers your husband a frivolous boy: “Here I am at his age …!”
Of course, everything is not good for my father’s princess, and my mother dreamed of showing off photographs of the yacht and the son-in-law’s family castle. So what? Deep down, your parents love your husband – especially if they see that you are happy with him. If you mention their criticism of your loved one, by doing this you will instill dislike for them in his soul for a long time. And as a result, you will have to constantly be a psychological buffer between the people closest to you.
You tell your girlfriends about your sex
Well, there is little good in this, but it’s also not worth it to confess to your beloved: not every man dreams of becoming a member of a cool reality sex show, especially if the audience is such sharp-tongued young ladies as your girlfriends. If the truth about your revelations comes out, they agreed on an extra cocktail that loosened your tongue – from a male point of view, this is a serious argument.
How much are your new boots
Of course, the family budget is a sacred matter, and you discuss all serious expenses together. And in modern times, the purchase of boots can well be classified as a “large investment.” But if you put off to buy them, and then your mother added – why tell your husband about it in detail? Thus, you seem to be hinting that he is not able to earn money to please his wife with a gift. This will cause discontent and disappointment in him.
You can’t stand his hobby
Well, it looks like he knows about it, but until now, by tacit agreement, you do not bring up this topic. So keep doing it! And in gratitude, he will never reproach you with the fact that for half an hour you and your girlfriend have been discussing some regular television songs or dances on the phone.
His relatives “ride” on it
Yes, you have repeatedly noticed that all your husband’s relatives shamelessly use his responsiveness, and friends often borrow money from him – so what? You should not discuss his relatives with him – he did not choose them. And he spent much more time with his friends than with you. Therefore, you should be patient and keep your mouth shut. If relatives are unpleasant in communication, you can try to meet with them less often. But in no case should you be silent if negative things come from his relatives or friends in your direction! However, it is worth talking about this very delicately so as not to give the impression that you are setting your husband against his relatives.
Loving, sincere, warm relationships and the desire to turn the soul inside out are two different things. Before you say anything, make an informed decision, and let love, tact and delicacy be your clues.
The opinion of the editors may not coincide with the opinion of the author of the article.