Simple advice from a man who has been married for 30 years

These words should be read by every man in the world. After all, they contain real wisdom and a simple secret of happiness in relationships with a woman. Moreover, these words belong to her husband, who has lived in a happy marriage with his soul mate for 30 years.

I was captured by family life, captured for 30 years. In captivity, seven children were born to me. During this time, I was able to learn an incomprehensible language. The language in which the parallel world of female civilization communicates. I was able to study their customs and mores.

The sailboat freezes helplessly without wind in the sails. The car stalls without gasoline. And even strong women run out of strength.

Peace in the family is incomparably better than stupid male justice. Having lived as soon as 30 years of family life, I began to guess that women are a different type of life.

I was deceived. Cheated at school, cheated at work. They littered their brains with books and TV. Even relatives and grandfathers were misled. I grew up in an illusion, in a strange time of emancipation and matriarchy. I was deceived and I was led; believed that women are just like us men. They can also walk around in jeans and sneakers. Be leaders, school principals and excellent drivers. Everything came together. Just a little different physiology. It’s just that the growth is a little lower, and the appearance is more beautiful.

I have uncovered a secret carefully hidden by the system. We are different. It turns out that two forms of human life coexist on the planet in parallel. Male and female.

They are different. They operate on a very strange principle. beyond our understanding. But it is better not to try to understand why it is so arranged. It is better to check it in your family.

Women work on attention and care from their husbands. Their batteries are charged from affectionate words and silent sincere hugs of a loved one, coming from the livers themselves.

They become tireless generators from simple words.

“You are my only one, and I have no other woman.”
“You are a wonderful mother of our children, I am so glad that I met you in life.”
“You’re the best”.
“How delicious you cook, my affectionate beauty.”

The wind fills the sails of the brigantine, life-giving raindrops fall on the dried earth – this is how the simple words of tired wives, exhausted by the daily family routine, enliven.

For a long time I could not understand that there is no justice in family life. A man lives by principles in relationships – an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. If an exhausted wife approaches her husband and begins to gnaw at him, drill with words, catch him with reproaches … poison him with the poison of his emotions, knock him down with his incredible emotions … This does not mean an attack! This means that you do not need to return blow for blow. In no case!

It was just an alarm going off – the fuel ran out. Batteries are dead. Charge me urgently, my savior, my beloved. I no longer have the strength to live without your kind words, without your support. I wilt, my hands drop. I unwittingly turn into something unpleasant. Just half an hour of walking along the snow-covered paths with you by the arm. Just a few minutes of your attention. Listen to my anxieties and worries accumulated during the day. Just please, no interrupting, no arguing.

Hit on the left cheek – substitute the right. There is no justice. Came home from work exhausted to death. Brought money and got another scandal. I would like to be honest, of course. At a minimum, proudly shut up and suffer alone. That’s what I did – and I was wrong.

You need to live by the principle – “two crocodiles flew, one green, the other flew to the right.”

The wife began to drill, sting – it means that it’s time to drop everything and immediately go hug her. Say for the hundredth time: “What beautiful eyes you have, my soul.” Speak with sincerity. The trick doesn’t go away. Words of excuse will only cause more storm. Which in translation from the female means – “I do not believe. Try again. Try again please! And by all means, don’t shut up.” Although this is how a woman can answer.

You have to go ahead, break into the fire of her indignation and save your beloved, save the world in the family with affectionate words, gentle strokes on the head. With the same feeling as calming a little son, taking away all his anxieties.

There is no justice. There are two different forms of life. There are strange, inexplicable actions that bring the family into harmony. Strange for men, clear and simple for women. But there are no translators.

Most are in illusion. Most continue to see in their wives the same men, only with a slightly different physiology. They continue to treat their wives not as daughters, weak and fragile (despite their overwhelming emotional strength), but as mothers. Grew up, matured. He left his mother and took a second mother as his wife, only younger, but with the same functions. The functions of a housekeeper and a source of pleasure when you feel like it.

Even strong women run out of strength, even strong families leak. If you forget to take care of the flowers, they wither. Dying, they call for help. They crave the life-giving moisture of affectionate words, compliments, signs of attention. Time, attention, which is completely focused on them.

The wind fills the sails of the brigantine, life-giving raindrops fall on the dried earth – this is how the gentle, sincere words of tired, exhausted wives, exhausted by the daily family routine, enliven. It is only necessary that the words of the man do not disagree with the deed. Only then will they be valid.

The author is Volodar Ivanov