Perhaps you have already experienced this: misunderstandings, resentment, quarrels and unpleasant words. It all starts somehow unexpectedly: suddenly “the same one” becomes a completely different person. He has changed: not so affectionate and sympathetic, he does not fall asleep with gifts and compliments. His conversations are no longer only about you, there is also work and hobbies, and maybe even worse – friends.
Are you sure the problem isn’t you? Maybe the person has always been like this, it’s just that your rose-colored glasses cracked today. How to recognize a crisis in a relationship and what to do about it – we will tell in the material.
When Relationship Crisis Comes
Psychologists say that a crisis in a relationship occurs at least 5 times:
- in the first year of cohabitation, when the “grinding” of partners takes place and the first domestic quarrels arise;
- crisis of 3-5 years of relationship, while the period of courtship ends and partners begin to see in each other not only the best sides but also the shortcomings;
- crisis 7 years of relationship. Each person’s preferences change over time, and it can be difficult for our partner to accept this, because we were not like that before;
- crisis 10 years of relationship. Most often, quarrels arise due to a lack of diversity in the life of a couple. Each makes the other guilty and does not understand why his requests are not heard;
- a crisis of 15-20 years of relations, when omissions and quarrels appear against the backdrop of remembering past grievances, as well as the monotony of life;
The reasons for disagreements at all stages of the relationship, of course, may be different, but each of them can be resolved. The main thing is the desire to continue the relationship. If the fear of being alone is holding you back, you should not keep a young man next to you as a “fallback”. Do not deceive yourself or him.
Why Relationship Crisis Occurs
The most common reason is a difference of interests. You used to like horror and watched The Walking Dead every night with pleasure, but today they have become boring and now melodramas are on your wish list. He’s confused because you’ve changed. In such a situation, it would be most rational to talk and accept the new hobbies of a loved one.
Often a couple comes to parting due to a banal lack of new emotions. Having lived together for more than 10 years, you can almost read your partner’s mind. In order to brighten up boredom, it is enough to try new things together. Have you ever eaten rolls? Have you skated together? Have you gone to a sex shop together? It’s time to do it! Be sure you don’t know everything about each other!
How to prevent the severe consequences of a relationship crisis
One way or another, you will have to face periods of misunderstanding with your loved one. You can try spreading grass before you fall. Here are some tips:
- Not only talk, but also listen. Both make it a habit to ask each other about the events of the day;
- Do not cheat. No “lie for good”, if you are directly asked about something, it is better to answer honestly. Untruth snowball will grow and, in the end, will destroy the liar;
- Do not turn messengers into a shopping list. SMS is designed to exchange information. Treat your loved one with a selfie from work or with an intriguing phrase “a surprise awaits you at home.” He will definitely appreciate your attention;
- Little surprises. Leave wishes on the refrigerator, discreetly put goodies in your pockets. So you will make me remember you more often;
- Speak nice words. Perhaps the lack of affection will anger your soul mate and start a crisis. It is not at all difficult to name the reason why you love a person;
- Time for two. When children appear in the family, all the attention of the wife is directed to them. What should a husband do who was not ready for such a scenario? We advise you to resort to the help of grandmothers and go on a date with your loved one, where all the time will be only for the two of you. Such “outings” need to be organized at least once a week, and it will be enough to leave the child for just a couple of hours;
- Talk about your grievances. When you have something to say to a person, you will do it at the first stressful situation. There is nothing wrong with arguments and insults, even screams. Expressing your dissatisfaction is absolutely normal. Let’s blow off steam for ourselves and our man. Tell everything that you do not like right away, do not collect negativity in yourself. It is much easier to solve a problem when it has just arisen and people are talking about it.
All these rules apply to everyone in the couple, so you can talk to him and offer to resolve conflicts before they occur.
A crisis is an integral part of a relationship, after which a new stage always begins, in which the level of respect and trust in a partner increases (if we are talking about healthy relationships). By talking with your soul mate and taking into account her interests, you can avoid most quarrels. Having different interests and hobbies, you will have much more topics for discussion and interest in each other. It is also important not to forget to pay attention and please your partner. And also remember that people change and you need to be able to adapt to these changes.