“I’m in love with the teacher” is an untimely, in many ways even dangerous phrase, isn’t it? In addition to the fact that the case may smell like criminality, today society is ready to tear to shreds anyone who violates the norms of generally accepted morality and the so-called new ethics. And yet we continue to fall in love with teachers, teachers, coaches, mentors, and sometimes our students…
It used to be, at a time when few people knew the words “harassment”, “sexism”, “gender”, “abuse”, falling in love with a teacher or teacher was … almost normal. And in some cases, one could even count on reciprocity! I don’t know about you, but in my high school, half the girls were in love with a young physicist who wore a trendy suede jacket and sang bard songs to the guitar at school parties. And personally, I liked the not very young, but incredibly charismatic teacher of astronomy. I even had an erotic fantasy – I imagined how the two of us were flying into space, and we were being pulled into a black hole …
Then, at the university, relations with teachers were also far from always and not all of them were of an official nature: of course, there were sticky harassment of students by aging teachers, and “coffee trips” for a grade in the test book, but there were also real loves, suffering, serious relationship … Why are we so attracted to “forbidden love” and does it have a future?
I have three life stories where the characters were in a teacher-student relationship. And their endings were completely different.
Happy ending is possible
Many of my classmates went to work at school after graduating from the philological faculty. And two girls at the very beginning of their career had … novels with students. And yes, it all started during the educational process, and yes, there were calls to the carpet to the director, gossip among schoolchildren, and showdowns with parents. But in the end there were two weddings and four babies were born!
Frankly, we all did not really believe in the long-term nature of these relationships: they say, if the young men finish puberty, love will also end. But when, 20 years after graduation, we all met, it turned out that most of the girls had already divorced, and more than once, and our two teachers, who married their students, were among the few who were truly happy. married.
Tales of the Vikings
Another story happened between a teacher and a student. He, as usual, was married, she was young and charming. No, she did not need grades, his patronage and other preferences. She really fell in love with her teacher: he spoke so inspiredly about the Scandinavian epic, about Odin and Thor, and even he himself was somewhat similar to a Viking. He told her that she looked like the Scandinavian goddess of love Freya, and she felt dizzy at the thought that she managed to charm almost Thor himself. In the end, he left his wife and child and married his Freya.
They lived together for 15 years, gave birth to two children. Sometimes rumors reached her that he often appoints retakes after couples for young students, but she believed that these were the machinations of ill-wishers. And once one of his students showed up right at their house and told our heroine that she was pregnant from her husband, that they had love and in general “Let him go at last, he doesn’t love you!”. The grown-up goddess of love simply could not believe – a student? again?? at his age??? I got to their correspondence … It finished her off when her husband called his new passion “My Freya” …
the Forbidden fruit
And here’s another story – relatively recent. Again, he is a teacher, she is his student. High-profile stories of sexual harassment by powerful men have already taken place, and the expression “new ethics” has acquired a special meaning. Therefore, in order to avoid accusations of harassment, the teacher quit the university. But there was no happy reunion. The student became bored … Suddenly it turned out that her lover was a boring, not too modern, rather shabby type. Strangely, when he stood at the pulpit in his beat-up jacket and dozens of eyes were fixed on him, and he looked only at her, she did not notice it. The element of mystery, forbiddenness, depravity turned out to be the main component in this dish. And without it, it became insipid.
And what now, forbid yourself to fall in love with your teachers? Forget about the romantic image of the astronomy teacher performed by Kostolevsky from The Nameless Star? Or about the hero Tikhonov from “We’ll Live Until Monday”, with whom the whole country was in love? Or Joaquin Phoenix as the teacher in Irrational Man? I’m not talking about Adrien Brody in “Replacement Teacher”! ..
I think that we fell in love and probably will fall in love with teachers, teachers, coaches, mentors. We can. And they can’t. And that’s okay. I still sometimes imagine in colors how I fly into space with my astronomy teacher. And I thank fate that he never once touched me with a finger …
And can there be a future for these relationships, if, suppose, the object of your dreams reciprocates? In the current realities, only if the relationship becomes equal. That is, someone will have to grow up or change jobs. But does it make sense? Here is a simple test.
Before you pledge your allegiance to each other or leave your job, try to extract that teacher-student component from your relationship. Imagine that this is not your history teacher, but, say, a neighbor in the country, or a friend in a sports club, or a relative of a friend. That you do not depend on him in any way, and he does not have power over you, you do not need to hide your feelings, there is no this gaping abyss between you, you can see each other at any moment. Will it still be attractive to you without its Scandinavian mythology, thoughtful gaze and secret signals sent to you? And what will you do with this love when it ceases to be forbidden? ..
Have you ever been in love with a teacher? Or maybe a student? Share your story!