How many times after an unsuccessful relationship have you said to yourself: “You should have guessed right away what kind of person he really is!”
It is believed that at the first meetings, men try to show their best side and often mislead us. But this is not so: a person usually reveals the most important things about himself already in the first hours of communication.
But first, check out our project: “Big talk about ‘it’. All about sex in the digital age and about:
Who are digital people and what turns them on?
What is telediltonics?
Why are people in polygamous relationships?
Can you find a great sex partner on Tinder?
What does the man say
Listen carefully to what he says about important areas of life. Ask leading questions, and at the same time you will prove yourself as a good interlocutor and listener.
About previous relationships
- He does not want to tell anything or, conversely, he says too much – perhaps he has not yet fully managed to let them go.
- Refers to the former mockingly or negatively – carefully!
- He talks about them neutrally, just as part of his biography – a green light!
About family and relationships
- In conversation now and then slips “as my mother says” – get ready to build complex diplomatic relations.
- Avoids mentioning loved ones or dryly says that he grew up without a father? A serious relationship with him can be painful.
Asking him to quote the entire track record, of course, is not worth it, but pay attention to the correspondence of age and position.
- A man 40+ should not work in a conditional fast food, and the point here is by no means the size of the salary: most often career failures are explained by a quarrelsome character and inability to build relationships.
- Phrases like “My department is full of idiots and the boss is the worst!” also serve as a marker.
- Well, if he is ready to talk excitedly about work until the cafe where you are sitting is closed, this is a sign that, perhaps, there will simply be no time left for anything else in his life (including relationships).
A person without a hobby at all is boring and, most likely, unhappy, and if they do exist, then ideally they should at least partially coincide with yours. If he breeds Rottweilers, and you are afraid of fighting dogs and, in addition, suffer from allergies, it is better to immediately find out how serious this stumbling block is for both of you.
His reaction to your hobbies is also important: even if he cannot fully appreciate it, then at least let him respect it.
How does a man talk about himself?
- Okay and measured, gesticulating smoothly and pausing so that you can laugh or ask again in the right place? It looks like the man is doing his best to show you a “ceremonial” picture, which, perhaps, is far from reality.
- In an undertone, lowering his eyes and as if surprised at what he himself is telling? This suggests that right now the person is sincere with you.
- Short phrases and as if reluctantly? I’m sorry, but this is not your option – he is already bored on the first date.
Signs of “not your” man
A white rim from a ring on a finger or a “child in a car” sign on the glass of his car are clear, but not the only signs that a man is not free.
Beware if he:
- covers the smartphone screen with his hand or drops calls (both yours when you call him, and incoming calls in your presence);
- cannot say exactly about his plans even for the next couple of days;
- makes dates in strange places, as if hiding – on the outskirts of the city, in student coffee houses;
- mentions that he was in the theater or at the exhibition, but never invites you to join.