Greedy, miser, miser – all these words about your lover? Does he not give gifts, does not drive to cafes, and even lends you money at interest? Congratulations, you got a greedy man. What to do with it and how to recognize it – we will tell in a new article.
In childhood, those who did not want to share and were greedy, it was customary to call greedy beef. But what if you both grew out of the age of the sandbox, and some of them remained this same greedy one?
How to communicate with mean people: advice from a psychologist
Probably everyone on their way met a greedy. Even in childhood, it was clear who did not share their toys and threw a tantrum, and who friendly stretched out their spatula and bucket to the kids in the sandbox. In adulthood, everything is exactly the same, only the “toys” are more serious and the sediment is more disgusting. How to communicate with greedy people, the reality psychologist will tell “From a boy to a lady” (New Channel) Natalia Borisova.
“Greed has several causes,” says the psychologist. I’ll tell you about a few of them. Firstly, the prosperity of the family and hyper-custody, in which a person grew up, and where there was everything for his beloved. He is simply not used to sharing, because everything is there for him. The second reason: in childhood, parents did not indulge and did not give the child elementary things that all peers had. The third reason: self-doubt and the desire to completely protect yourself from others. From childhood, a child was not taught that it was necessary to share, and even more so in adulthood. Everything is acquired by overwork, and therefore everything has a special attitude.
But do not rush to part with the greedy person, because this quality of a loved one can be influenced, although not always. What is needed for this?
“Try to become an example for a greedy person and don’t be like him,” recommends Natalia. – Joke more about greed with such a person, humor can melt the thickness of redneck. Well, do not hush up what you do not like, but speak openly about the problem of greed. Be kind and open towards relatives and friends, then the laurels of reciprocity will not keep you waiting!
Why do men get greedy
All our complexes, problems and what we have become, in most cases, comes from childhood. It is in childhood that we are given the foundation, and then society adds strokes to the picture of character. Therefore, a man simply cannot be born stingy. So why do men get greedy?
Reason 1. Difficult childhood
If a man had a difficult childhood, his family was constantly in need, then this begins to manifest itself in adulthood, even if the situation has changed dramatically. However, in most cases, people who grew up in need often become frugal, because they know what it is to make money.
Reason 2. Too easy childhood
If a man in childhood grew up like a little prince, at whose request everything was bought and brought, he can grow up selfish and therefore greedy. Why should he spend money on you if he has himself? It’s hard to judge, because the only people we love more than anyone else are ourselves, but still, relationships cannot be built on this. A greedy man of this kind will gladly spend on himself and his entertainment, but you will always have to pay for yourself.
Reason 3. Greedy parents
If a man’s parents have bullied him and slapped him for the slightest expense since childhood, he will already develop the habit of being greedy in adulthood. He considers all expenses, except for urgent ones, unimportant, and without gifts and cafes one can live somehow.
Reason 4. Sad past
Once burned, such a man will be distrustful of every girl with whom he starts a relationship. From him you can often hear the words that all women need only money, he condemns the girls for whom men pay.
Reason 5. You allowed it
Think about it, how often have you just swallowed his stinginess? How often did you refuse gifts, were embarrassed to ask for money, paid half with him, or even paid for him at all, gave him expensive gifts, and yourself told not to give you anything? Well, congratulations, you allowed him to save on yourself, taught him to do this, and now he is just pissed off because he does not want to leave his comfort zone.
Greedy and economical: how they differ
Before judging someone, you should look and analyze yourself. It is reckless and stupid to assume that if a gentleman does not want to give something to his lady or does not want to constantly take her to expensive restaurants, he is greedy by default. There is a fine line between frugality and greed, and it is worth distinguishing when a person crosses this line.
An economical person correctly prioritizes, a greedy person seeks to capture everything for himself. An economical man will spend as much as he can, even if it is a minimum, a greedy man will spend all his means to please himself, ignoring his loved ones.
You should not blame a man for being greedy if he gave you a bouquet of flowers and took you to a cafe, although you wanted a luxury car and a restaurant.
Signs of a greedy man
What are the main signs of a greedy man and how to calculate him from them? Well, it can be declassified quite easily if you just take a closer look. Here is a list of a few habits of greedy men:
- He does not leave a tip, even if you have been served amazingly.
- He gives gifts like to you, but also like to himself.
- He loves to talk about money, talk about bills and how something was expensive.
- He asks to pay the bill, although there is money.
- He was used to visiting empty-handed.
- He is too keen on economy (knows how to wear the same trousers all year round).
- He does not save on himself, but on you the waste is cut off sharply.
- He likes to emphasize that there is no money.
He likes to negotiate for everyone to live on their own money, but for some reason does not want to pay for the common: food, housing and communal services. Also not too disposed to help you around the house.
Greedy Man Forum
“For example, I somehow went to a meeting after an online dating, we agreed that I would take a friend, and the guy would take a friend. So we went to one cafe first, we didn’t order anything for ourselves there, and the guys drank cocktails and ate, then moved to another. Again they asked what we would do, they said that it was nothing, and now the guy I saw bought me a glass of juice and brought two cookies on a saucer, but nothing to my girlfriend! So they sat – they ordered something for themselves, having spoiled me with juice in a plastic glass and two cookies, but my friend’s was empty! I didn’t eat or drink, it was terribly uncomfortable and even insulting for my girlfriend (is it really impossible, since this unfortunate juice was bought for me in a glass, and buy it for her?) ”,
– they write on the Internet.
And there are many such stories. We have found for you the funniest stories from the Web about greedy men:
- My MCH seems to me greedy for life. I always tell him that sometime at night a toad will come and suffocate him! Now I am looking for a job, so I don’t have any money of my own, and he is so “generous” that he leaves me a 10 $ every day!
- I once asked a new boyfriend to buy a pack of cigarettes, I wanted to smoke, but there was no money with me. He bought me with a distorted face, and then, when he walked me home, he demanded a refund for cigarettes. I thought that he did not like it, and scored on him. And then he called many times, but I was afraid to meet him, suddenly what a maniac.
- I met a guy, invited me to the cinema. We approach the cashier, and here he begins to wrinkle, he opened his wallet and stands over it, almost sighing, in short, I paid for myself, but I didn’t meet with him anymore. In general, I noticed: the more a guy earns, the greedier he is, and who doesn’t earn very much, he is ready to spend all the money on cafe-movie-flowers. How is this to be explained?
- Dubak was terrible, rain. He told me – let’s go for a walk. I suggested that he go to the “Chocolate Girl”. Here, too, the whole warped. I ordered tea for warming up. So that this comrade would not have a heart attack, she warned immediately that I would pay for myself. So the face immediately brightened up and began to smile.
- And I remember my ex-husband, when another 1 $ were pink and cost decently, he was a cadet. I stayed at home with the child, did not work. He hid money from me in his boot. He hid it so much that he forgot about them and rubbed a hole in the bill. That’s when I laughed.
What to do with a greedy man
It is worth weaning him from such behavior by resorting to a reasonable strategy. Immediately, at the snap of his fingers, a man will not become generous, but gradually – it is quite possible.
The first step is conversation
Have a soft conversation with him and tell him that this attitude offends you. At first, it is worth praising for frugality, hinting that it is better to spend money on a normal thing than throwing away money on a cheap one that will break down in a week.
If a man’s greed is selective, and he saves only on his family, and not on himself, it’s also not worth throwing up a scandal. Best to teach him a lesson:
Give him all the payment for services and bills: utilities, electricity, rent, children’s circles, kindergarten, school. In addition, he must buy products on his own. At the end of the lesson, let him draw conclusions for himself and understand that your requests to allocate money for the household are normal and reasonable claims.
The second step is radical deprivation
If a man continues to be greedy and wants to shift the responsibilities of providing life to you, and stretch his legs himself and relax on the couch, there is a great way to wean him. Just cook exactly as much as he gave. Enough for buckwheat – eat buckwheat, enough for pasta – eat pasta.
You can also drag him to the market and show in practice how much his food, household goods and all that costs.
If he does not give gifts to you, do not give gifts to him. Do everything exactly the same as he does.
If the re-education helped, it’s good, but if the man continues to be greedy, you should think about whether you need such a relationship.