Summer is a time of change. And sometimes it is during this period that people decide to leave relationships in the past. How to understand whether it’s time for you to shed your emotional baggage?
Downs, ups and downs, and routine — this is largely what the relationship between two people consists of. At the stage of emotional “bottom” or, conversely, the frequency of quarrels, it is important to understand that this is an irreversible deterioration leading to the end, or just another turn of the wheel? If you are tired of thinking about your future together and realize that these thoughts are becoming too painful, it is time to think about whether such a future is necessary at all?
Check for lice
The easiest test is to write to him right now that you are sad, that everything has fallen into place, and you don’t feel well. And see what he will answer.
- “I understand, I myself have a lot of problems right now.”
- “So kill it, nothing serious.”
- “Well, the weather is kind of normal, my friends and I decided to have a beer after work. And what do you do in the evening?”
- “Make yourself some delicious tea and hold out for a couple of hours. I’ll be at your place after work!”
- “How can I help you?”
- “I mentally hug you, hold on! Maybe you need money? Just say it.”
Signs that the relationship did not work out
So what distinguishes a relationship that has come to an end? Here are a few points.
Something went wrong
First of all, the body reacts to “wrong” relationships. You may begin to feel stiffness, stiffness, take unnatural postures, make clumsy, sharp movements next to your loved one.
Jealousy and in general any doubts about one’s own attractiveness and desirability are instantly revealed in appearance: long-forgotten pimples, which you seem to have finally dealt with in high school, skin peeling, hair problems may appear.
In a word, if the deterioration of well-being coincided with the moment when a breakdown with a loved one appeared, then the cause of the malaise lies precisely in the relationship.
Candy, bouquets and good morning wishes on schedule do not mean that everything is fine between you. The external attributes of falling in love can only be the icing on a tasteless bitter cake. On the one hand, you seem to be dating someone for sure (or even married). On the other hand, you increasingly feel how the ground under your feet turns into jelly.
Most women expect stability and support from their partner – and it is not so much about the material side, but also about emotional “support” as well. And as soon as your husband begins to evade this duty, you feel it and begin to suffer from uncertainty.
If you watch foreign sitcoms, you have probably come across an “intervention” scene (in this case, an intervention in personal life): friends throw a kind of surprise party for the hero, but instead of a cake and congratulations, they shock him with a sincere opinion about a relationship that is not suitable for him or some obviously dead-end life the situation We are not used to that, and it’s a pity – often from the outside it is better to see what your relationship is like, where it can lead and how your partner really treats you. Gather courage and ask two or three close friends to tell you the whole truth.
Don’t even think
Even if your relationship resembles a suitcase without a handle, which is inconvenient to carry and a pity to throw away, you are still in a conditional zone of comfort and some certainty.
- No nostalgia. Yes, at the beginning of the relationship, everything could really be like a fairy tale for you. But since then, a lot of water has flowed, feelings have expired like wine, and both of you have become different people who are no longer so good together.
- You are not guilty of anything and is not obliged to try to fix everything alone. Both parties should be equally responsible for the fact that your relationship is crumbling, and for the decision to try to save it. Do not bite yourself and do not put an overwhelming burden on your shoulders.
- Don’t pretend nothing is happening. If you don’t like the direction your love boat is drifting, it’s time to take an oar and steer it to a dock where you can pause and talk. A man is not a telepath and he himself is unlikely to guess what is wrong, even if you make the most unhappy face on every date you meet.
Everything is for your benefit
When emotions cloud the mind, hand over the reins of power to the left hemisphere of the brain, which is responsible for logic and rational thinking. Make a table of 5-6 points that are important to you and evaluate whether you are in the “plus” in the relationship or in the “minus”.
If you feel strong in yourself, you can rate each of the points on a five-point scale, and then adjust the balance. This will help you understand whether it is really worth continuing to spend time on this relationship.