With age, people accumulate life experience, form their own opinion and attitude to certain events. These ideas sometimes run counter to those that others have instilled since childhood, telling what is right and what is not. According to experts, some of the social attitudes are outdated.

What “rules of life” are irrelevant, told psychotherapist, head of the Center for Family Psychology Alexandra Tolokonina.

Follow traditions to please others

For example, in your family it is customary to get married before the age of 20 and give birth to the first child before 25. What if you have other plans for life? You have the right to do so, says the expert. “Remember that you should not follow traditions for show and try to please others. If you do not want to celebrate a magnificent wedding in a restaurant and invite all distant relatives and friends (and then suddenly someone will be offended), remember that you do not have to do this. Unfortunately, many still do what others expect,” explains Alexandra Tolokonina.

To assume that the older one knows everything

Perhaps you were convinced from childhood that you should obey your elders, because they know everything. You can’t argue with the teacher and defend your point of view – he knows better. “In fact, age is not an indicator of the intellectual level and wisdom of a person, because even at 80 years old you can be careless and irresponsible. You need to respect and listen, but you should make decisions on your own, ”recommends psychotherapist Tolokonina.

Waiting for a special occasion

A large number of people today have a delayed life syndrome, notes Alexandra Tolokonina. Some people store beautiful linens or chinaware in closets in hopes of a special occasion that may never come. But why put off until tomorrow what can be done today? “Go for a walk with your husband / friend / loved one, put on a new dress, eat a piece of delicious cake, go on a long-awaited vacation, buy what you have been dreaming of for a long time, and do not wait for a special occasion. Live your life, enjoying every moment of it, ”advises the expert.

Forced to communicate with everyone

Sometimes we have to communicate closely with people with whom there is very little in common: different interests, outlooks on life, understanding of worldly truths. But communication should be based on mutual interest, and not because it is “necessary” or the environment requires it, says the psychotherapist. You are free to choose your own circle of friends or colleagues and not feel guilty or uncomfortable if one of your acquaintances does not make you want to communicate.

Judging people by their appearance

At all times, people wanted to impress others with their appearance. Simplicity and naturalness are in fashion now. External attributes have gone by the wayside, today clothes are not an indicator of wealth, a rich inner world or mind. “It is worth seeing how well-known scientists, movie stars, millionaires dress today. They wear jeans, sweaters, T-shirts, they prefer convenience and comfort, they do not try to look pretentious. It makes no sense to judge a person’s prosperity by his appearance. The main thing is to be comfortable, ”explains Alexandra Tolokonina.

share responsibilities

Screwing in a light bulb, vacuuming, cooking dinner, putting together a closet, washing dishes, taking out the trash – these are elementary skills that will come in handy in the life of any person. Do not divide household chores into “male” and “female”. Doing work together is much faster and more enjoyable, the specialist recommends.

Show up at work

In many groups, it is still customary to walk on a grand scale, celebrating a birthday, vacation, wedding, birth of children, promotion. Often a person is expected to set a rich table on a special occasion, and if he refuses to do this, colleagues begin to take offense, condemn and consider him mean. “It is high time for everyone to understand that any act is voluntary. If you want to treat your colleagues, why not? But if you don’t want to, this is only your right, and no one should insist on the opposite, ”the expert emphasizes.

According to the psychotherapist, it is worth getting rid of outdated attitudes – in most cases, “without this oppression, life will become more comfortable, easier and brighter.”