Tactile fatigue, also known as being touched, is a new term in psychology. He refers to young mothers who, for obvious reasons, spend a lot of time with their babies. What is the essence of such a problem and how to deal with this condition, told family psychologist Olga Romaniv.
“Often, babies spend several hours a day in their mother’s arms, sleeping on their stomach or next to them during the day and even at night. Mothers feed babies, holding them in their arms, lull them to sleep, wash them – in general, they perform all the necessary functionality. And if no one helps mom, she is literally with the child all weekdays, and sometimes even weekends. Of course, such a mother gets tired, including from constant tactile contact. Moreover, this is often expressed not in relation to the child – it is impossible to deprive him of the opportunity to pick him up for a long time, but, for example, to an older child, to a husband who returned from work and decided to show tenderness, to parents who came to visit over the weekend ” – says Olga Romaniv.
Moreover, there is a category of people who do not really like frequent tactile contact, and when they are physically or mentally tired, they behave like tired mothers of newborn babies. “They try to minimize contacts in order to recover: they step back, once again miss a kiss from a loved one or a hug, go to bed on their half of the bed, wrapped in a blanket,” the psychologist explains.
In fact, the removal and minimization of tactile contact from a psychological point of view is the closing of boundaries in order to restore the internal resource. True, from the outside it may well look like a manifestation of dislike or disrespect towards loved ones. In reality, the matter is in the most banal fatigue, the specialist warns.
“The saddest thing in this situation is that minimizing tactile contact completely does not help to cope with fatigue, but relationships with those who are nearby, especially if these persons are not inclined to empathy and more often want to receive than take, may well spoil. Therefore, in the wake of a decrease in tactile contacts, quarrels and scandals can arise, and dissatisfaction with each other is growing. One party, such as a man, may decide that he is being ignored. The other side, a tired woman, realizes that they don’t understand her, don’t support her, and they dump all household worries on her, ”says Olga Romaniv.
What to do?
First of all, you should talk frankly with your husband and let him know that you are tired both mentally and physically – spending the whole day with a small child in your arms is really difficult, advises psychologist Romaniv. Be sure to say that you need tangible help. Whose it will be: from the side of her husband, your mother, his mother, nanny – it’s not so important. But you need time to be alone with yourself, get out of the house for at least a short period of time, go shopping (not for the purpose of buying groceries), go to the hairdresser, for a manicure, for a massage – in other words, to taste again. life and recover. And, of course, ideally, even with a baby in your arms, you need to come up with something in order to periodically leave the child with their parents at least for the weekend and spend time only together.
Approximately the same advice can be given to those who react to fatigue by limiting tactile contact – be sure to change the environment, remember to relax, take a vacation and spend time with those who are dear to you, or go on some kind of trip alone. You need a high-quality reboot and filling with energy, the psychologist sums up.