Psychological trauma in children is common. Some are hurt by situations in the family, others suffer from problems at school. But it seems that childhood passes, and tension from childhood problems also passes. In fact, this is not so, and the consequence of childhood experiences is serious problems in adulthood. What kind – told psychotherapist, head of the Center for Family Psychology Alexandra Tolokonina.
Psychological trauma, says Tolokonina, can occur in a child at any age due to a stressful situation. It can be:
- loss of a close relative;
- peer ridicule;
- misunderstanding with parents;
- overprotection by adults.
The specialist recommends immediately providing assistance to a child who finds himself in a difficult life situation, so that it would not be difficult for him in life in the future. As a rule, such people are often in a bad mood and depression, it is difficult for them to build relationships with people around them. In the list of psychotraumas that can affect adult life, the following items.
one. Inferiority complex
Such childhood psychotrauma is usually indicated by a person’s desire to embellish himself and his achievements all the time, to add significance to the tasks he performs, says psychotherapist Tolokonina. For example, a woman tries to appear better in the eyes of other people by constantly acquiring branded items, expensive cars and apartments. She tries to buy all the most expensive, but in fact it does not bring her satisfaction and happiness.
She can also become a careerist, indifferent to her health, disappearing at work day and night. All this eventually becomes the cause of big problems with the nervous system.
Perhaps her parents often compared her with other girls, they said that some acquaintances the child learns for one five, others grow a real violinist, and still others educate the future of domestic sports. “If you constantly compare a child with other children, he may feel worthless and mediocre. Remember, what seems to be a trifle for an adult will be deeply deposited in the child’s memory and leave its mark, which will manifest itself in serious complexes, ”notes psychotherapist Tolokonina.
2. Syndrome of the “victim”
This syndrome manifests itself in the desire to manipulate other people, put pressure on them or try to get everyone’s attention. Such people often put other people’s interests above their own in order to be at a disadvantage and arouse the sympathy of others. Also, the “victims” often pretend to be offended, even if in fact it is they who are to blame for this or that situation, says the psychotherapist.
“Victims” get sick quite often, for example, a regular sore throat or even an endless banal cold – this one is just about them. Indeed, during this period, those around them pity and show concern.
“Usually such people are brought up in a family where adults every time demand gratitude for everything they do. For example, a mother tells her child how much she gets tired at work and at home, because she does everything for the well-being of her husband and children. In this case, the child copies the behavior of adults and understands that it is possible to manipulate other people’s feelings and arouse pity, ”explains Alexandra Tolokonina.
3. Syndrome of “excellent student”
This complex interferes with many people in adult life. And he torments them from the moment when they were accustomed by their parents to be the first and best in everything. But it is impossible to always be higher, better and stronger. “Also, people who have experienced this psychological trauma in childhood may consider themselves better than others (a superiority complex), they sincerely believe that they are always right in everything,” says the psychotherapist.
In addition, they are characterized by a situation where they put their plans in priority, regardless of the opinions of others, or achieve their goals at any cost. Most often, these people suffer from respiratory diseases and problems with the nervous system.
“Usually, the parents of such children categorically forbade them to make mistakes, scolded them for any trifle and demanded only the highest results in everything: in studies, sports and creativity,” warns Alexandra Tolokonina.
Every adult must understand the reasons for his behavior and understand the problems that come from deep childhood, so that all his problems from the cradle do not interfere with a harmonious adult life. If you can’t find solutions to such problems and complexes on your own, you should seek help from a specialist who will help you find and work out the psychotrauma, get rid of the negative consequences, Alexandra Tolokonina summarizes.