Parental chats are a good test of stress resistance. If you have not passed it (perhaps not the first time), we offer together with candidate of psychological sciences, psychologist Elena Milto understand the rules of communication with other parents, so that this has an effect and a minimum of discomfort.

Everyone needs rules

No community, team, team will survive without rules. And even more so, it will never be effective. Tons of info-garbage, uncontrollable aggression and growing irritation at everything that is somehow connected with the cause of the union – that’s what you get in the end.

Parent chat is also an association, in general, under duress. And we often go there because we are afraid that if the child is refused, you will miss some important information for him. Maybe you are right. But you need to understand and accept two things. First: whether or not to be in the parents’ chat is your decision. You can manage it by building other relationships with the team. Second, there are mandatory communication rules that need to be created and then followed. Let’s talk about them.


The most important

1. Find the boss


“Chief of the chat”, or give another definition of this, in fact, completely unenviable, but very necessary “position”.

This role is suitable for a person who has the time and energy for such functionality, who knows how to build a dialogue, get in touch. It is he who will be the guardian of the rules, the controller of their implementation, the initiator of all initiatives. Ideally, there will also be an “outside boss” in the chat, such as a school psychologist, to level out any unsympathetic or potentially conflict situations.

2. Write down and publicly accept the rules of the chat

I must say right away that there will always be dissatisfied, misunderstanding and resisting. Pay no attention to them. The majority will still remain indifferent (alas, this is a fact), and with their tacit consent, it will be easier to manage the chat and your emotions in it.

3. Stick to what you agreed

The controller-administrator should be endowed with the function of a “supervisor” and, if necessary, even a “punisher”. It is important to prevent chaos (rules are needed to eliminate it) and conflicts. All disputable situations should be resolved outside the general chat. For example, in the office of a school psychologist or through a personal call.

Also, the administrator should have the right to delete (or transfer to the “read-only” category) aggressive members of the chat who have a habit of speaking loudly and irrelevantly.

By the way, let me remind you that there is Article 5.61 of the Code of Administrative Offenses and it is defined as “insulting a person”. It can be used for a parent in a chat who has humiliated the honor and dignity of another parent with obscene language and threats. Messages in the messenger, personal correspondence are direct evidence of such an offense. It is punishable by a fine.

4. Rules need to be built with the class teacher

For example, to agree on how it is more comfortable for everyone to interact. The teacher may or may not be in the parent chat, but at the same time communicate with one person, the admin, who will bring the necessary information for discussion or topic to the parents of the students.

5. Remember about relationships with children

School chat is not a community of friends or relatives. Here you are going to help your own children, so never interfere with adult discussions, let alone showdowns. Children will quarrel or fight and immediately reconcile, and parental conflicts can drag on for years.


If you want the parent chat rules themselves to be constructive and effective, it is important to consider:

– only the working moments of the educational process are discussed here. Allowed topics: lessons, assignments, study news, excursions, olympiads, shifts, etc.;

– gossip about students and teachers, discussion of political news, congratulations and similar things are not allowed;

– Avoid voice messages. By general agreement, write in letters. So shorter and clearer;

– surveys are best done through the built-in function, and not with pluses and comments;

– Do not allow empty conversations. Stop them. Only on business. For philosophical reasoning and expressing an opinion, there are other options for communication;

– determine that the issue is raised once, the decision is made by the majority, and the result is fixed in the chat;

– Don’t get personal. We are all different, someone thinks slowly, someone writes with errors. In one chat (as in life) a doctor of science and a seller from the market can meet.

These simple rules and understanding of class chat features will help you save your nerves and easily accept the inevitable discomfort of such communication. Remember, you don’t have to endure the chaos of school chat. If it’s really annoying, you can always: leave the chat, turn off sound notifications, or … lead the process and make it efficient. Think maybe this is your element.